We had a really nice vacation last month. I'll say more about that once I have my pictures available to post. I'm still waiting on getting the new card reader put in!
We're kind of getting down to the wire on making a decision about whether we're going to pursue moving. My seat deposit is due April 15th. We are both leaning in the direction of moving to Alabama, but I'm waiting on J to say the word and make it official. I know it's what I want to do and it's what will be the best thing for my career in the long run. (As opposed to staying here and going to the local non-ABA law school.) J believes it's the best thing, as well, but he has the added challenge of finding a job. I'm trying to help him. I send him job links. I sent messages to a couple of people I went to college with who I knew lived in that area and asked them if they could put out some feelers for jobs and places to rent. One of them came through and there are a couple of job opportunities J needs to check out. It takes him longer to work through things than it does me and I'm sorry to say I haven't been very patient with him. But you can only put things off for so long before the opportunities are gone. I'm hoping his job search will be short and we can get this show on the road. It would be nice to move and get settled in before school starts. There are so many things to do when you move to a new place other than just moving your stuff and getting settled into your new home. It would be nice to have time to find a place to worship, find a new primary care doctor, find a new vet for the dogs and find our way around the city a bit before I have to start worrying about school. School starts in four months. I think I'm starting to get a little nervous!
Apr 11, 2011
Mar 7, 2011
Mar 4, 2011
So much to figure out...so little time.
I am happy to say that I was accepted at the law school in question in my last post! Not only that, but they offered me a 66% tuition remission scholarship! I had said that they would need to offer me at least $20,000 a year for us to even consider it and 66% of tuition works out to $20,460. So we are considering it! The stipulation to keeping the scholarship after your first year is that your GPA stay above 2.75. That doesn't sound too difficult, but then again, I have no idea how tough law school will be (other than what I've heard others say, of course). But I can work pretty hard for $20,460!
This nice scholarship offer makes things complicated, however. If they had said, "Hey, we'll give you $10,000 a year", then we would have moved on to other options. We're not interested in owing that much in student loans. But now we actually have to consider a big move. Well, "big" to us. It means moving several hours away from where we are now. It means J has to find a job and it has to pay enough to support both of us because I wouldn't be working while I'm in school. It means having to find a place to live that's decent, but not too expensive. It's certainly a good opportunity, though. I don't know how keen I am on living in the city it's located in, but it's because I've never been there (we may have driven through there before, but I'm not sure). We probably need to make a weekend visit just to look around and get an idea of how it is and if we could live there for three years. I realize you can't really make that sort of judgment about a place in a weekend, but it's better than committing to moving somewhere without checking it out at all.
I have to let them know by mid-April, I think, if I am going to go there. And I have to pay $500 of the $750 seat deposit (unrefundable, of course) by that time. So if we decide to go for it and J isn't able to find a job before then (which is the biggest hurdle to moving), I'll be out that money. We've not had much luck so far in locating jobs for him to apply for.
We have been busy lately and have had kind of a stressful week, so J and I haven't spent a whole lot of time talking about it. I'm sure we'll be discussing it on our vacation.
Speaking of vacation, this time next week, we'll be leaving (or about to leave, depending on how late we are running) for J's grandparents house, which is on the way to the beach. We'll spend the night there, then head on to South Carolina on Saturday. We are so very ready! Next week we'll be busy trying to get everything ready for the trip. It's kind of tough to pack for a week when you are going to be staying in a tent. Trying to get everything you want to take to fit into your four door sedan isn't all that fun. And when you aren't sure how the weather will be, it's hard to know what to pack to wear. (Which is my job.) But it'll be worth it once we get there and get to relax for a few days. We seriously need to unwind and we certainly have plenty to think about while we're there. We have so many decisions to make about our future! I find that making decisions is easier when you're out of your everyday element and have some space to think.
My blog really needs some pictures. The problem is that we bought two new cameras recently and the card reader on my computer isn't able to read the cards in them. We bought a new card reader, but J hasn't put it in yet. So hopefully soon I'll be able to make my blog less boring!
This nice scholarship offer makes things complicated, however. If they had said, "Hey, we'll give you $10,000 a year", then we would have moved on to other options. We're not interested in owing that much in student loans. But now we actually have to consider a big move. Well, "big" to us. It means moving several hours away from where we are now. It means J has to find a job and it has to pay enough to support both of us because I wouldn't be working while I'm in school. It means having to find a place to live that's decent, but not too expensive. It's certainly a good opportunity, though. I don't know how keen I am on living in the city it's located in, but it's because I've never been there (we may have driven through there before, but I'm not sure). We probably need to make a weekend visit just to look around and get an idea of how it is and if we could live there for three years. I realize you can't really make that sort of judgment about a place in a weekend, but it's better than committing to moving somewhere without checking it out at all.
I have to let them know by mid-April, I think, if I am going to go there. And I have to pay $500 of the $750 seat deposit (unrefundable, of course) by that time. So if we decide to go for it and J isn't able to find a job before then (which is the biggest hurdle to moving), I'll be out that money. We've not had much luck so far in locating jobs for him to apply for.
We have been busy lately and have had kind of a stressful week, so J and I haven't spent a whole lot of time talking about it. I'm sure we'll be discussing it on our vacation.
Speaking of vacation, this time next week, we'll be leaving (or about to leave, depending on how late we are running) for J's grandparents house, which is on the way to the beach. We'll spend the night there, then head on to South Carolina on Saturday. We are so very ready! Next week we'll be busy trying to get everything ready for the trip. It's kind of tough to pack for a week when you are going to be staying in a tent. Trying to get everything you want to take to fit into your four door sedan isn't all that fun. And when you aren't sure how the weather will be, it's hard to know what to pack to wear. (Which is my job.) But it'll be worth it once we get there and get to relax for a few days. We seriously need to unwind and we certainly have plenty to think about while we're there. We have so many decisions to make about our future! I find that making decisions is easier when you're out of your everyday element and have some space to think.
My blog really needs some pictures. The problem is that we bought two new cameras recently and the card reader on my computer isn't able to read the cards in them. We bought a new card reader, but J hasn't put it in yet. So hopefully soon I'll be able to make my blog less boring!
Feb 22, 2011
I'm back!
Despite appearances, I haven't deserted my blog. I've thought about posting something, but I just haven't gotten around to it. Life has been busy and there have been some changes recently. And there are more to come.
The main thing going on in my life right now is making a decision about law school. I was accepted at a school near where we live, but after receiving my scholarship information from them, we decided that was not the best option. It was a crummy scholarship award and this particular school is absolutely not worth getting into that much debt. No school would be, in my opinion. But especially not this one. It's a new law school (although the university it's associated with is not new) and has no reputation behind it. Plus, for a new school, they sure are asking a lot for tuition. $32,000 a year! So I withdrew from there and I'm in the process of figuring out what to do next.
Sort of on a whim, I decided to apply to a school that is around four and a half hours from where we live now. It had been on my list of possible schools previously. There were some schools on my list whose standards would make me feel the need to retake the LSAT before I applied to them. Not that I absolutely couldn't get in with what I have now, necessarily, but I would need a higher score to get a better (or any) scholarship. But at this particular school, my LSAT score and GPA are both in their 75th percentile, so I felt comfortable going ahead and applying. I'd like to start school this August and retaking the LSAT would mean waiting another year to start. Anyway, I whipped up a personal statement and got everything in order and submitted my application on February 11th. They have an application status checker, so I was (a little obsessively) checking that to see if there was any movement on my application. Finally, I decided to email the admissions director and ask him if he could give me a ballpark figure about how long it usually takes for a student to receive their decision. He said that I am scheduled to be deliberated upon by the Admissions Committee on February 24th! And he should be able to let me know something on the 25th. Also, scholarship decisions are made within one week of the admission decision and he said it might possibly be made by the 25th! I'm not worried about getting in, but I am really anxious to hear about the money. I wish it didn't have to be such an issue, but it is. We don't want to be in a lot of debt, especially when the legal market is so unpredictable right now and we don't even know if I'll be able to find a good job once I graduate. We have a figure in our head about the amount that will allow us to seriously consider this school, so we'll see what they offer me and go from there.
I think this school would be a great fit for me and I'm hoping it works out. I also think it would be good for my husband and I to live somewhere else. This school is in a city, but it's a smaller city than we live in now. I think both of us are really meant to be country people. We have dreams of one day owning a lot of land, so our neighbors aren't too close and our kids have plenty of room to run around and play outside. The only good thing about living in the city is the convenience factor and having access to so many things nearby. However, when there is so much traffic that it takes forever to get anywhere, that sort of negates any perceived convenience. I live about eight miles from my workplace and it takes about 30 minutes to get there. Crazy.
As for baby matters, those are more or less at a standstill right now. We aren't preventing (not that it matters, obviously), but we are not doing any treatment at this time. Our RE recommended injectables (I assume with IUI), but we have to pay for it all out-of-pocket and we can't afford it right now. And with all the upheaval about law school and the possibility of moving, TTC is on the back burner. Not that I don't think about it, but it's not my priority at the moment. It's actually been nice having some things to distract me from obsessing about it so much. I'm sure once I actually start law school, I'll have even less time to think about babies.
In other exciting news, we are going on vacation in March to our most favorite place! It's one of South Carolina's Sea Islands and we love it there. J has been going there with his family since he was very young and I started going when we were dating. We set up a tent very close to the beach and spend the week doing a whole lot of nothing (i.e. walking around, collecting shells, eating, riding bikes, etc.). We are just hoping the weather will be nice while we're there. I made these reservations last July and would have preferred to go in April of this year, but I think the campsites we wanted were already reserved during that time. At any rate, we are really looking forward to our trip! It will be nice to get away and take a break from our busy lives for a few days.
I'll try not to let so much time go by before I post again!
The main thing going on in my life right now is making a decision about law school. I was accepted at a school near where we live, but after receiving my scholarship information from them, we decided that was not the best option. It was a crummy scholarship award and this particular school is absolutely not worth getting into that much debt. No school would be, in my opinion. But especially not this one. It's a new law school (although the university it's associated with is not new) and has no reputation behind it. Plus, for a new school, they sure are asking a lot for tuition. $32,000 a year! So I withdrew from there and I'm in the process of figuring out what to do next.
Sort of on a whim, I decided to apply to a school that is around four and a half hours from where we live now. It had been on my list of possible schools previously. There were some schools on my list whose standards would make me feel the need to retake the LSAT before I applied to them. Not that I absolutely couldn't get in with what I have now, necessarily, but I would need a higher score to get a better (or any) scholarship. But at this particular school, my LSAT score and GPA are both in their 75th percentile, so I felt comfortable going ahead and applying. I'd like to start school this August and retaking the LSAT would mean waiting another year to start. Anyway, I whipped up a personal statement and got everything in order and submitted my application on February 11th. They have an application status checker, so I was (a little obsessively) checking that to see if there was any movement on my application. Finally, I decided to email the admissions director and ask him if he could give me a ballpark figure about how long it usually takes for a student to receive their decision. He said that I am scheduled to be deliberated upon by the Admissions Committee on February 24th! And he should be able to let me know something on the 25th. Also, scholarship decisions are made within one week of the admission decision and he said it might possibly be made by the 25th! I'm not worried about getting in, but I am really anxious to hear about the money. I wish it didn't have to be such an issue, but it is. We don't want to be in a lot of debt, especially when the legal market is so unpredictable right now and we don't even know if I'll be able to find a good job once I graduate. We have a figure in our head about the amount that will allow us to seriously consider this school, so we'll see what they offer me and go from there.
I think this school would be a great fit for me and I'm hoping it works out. I also think it would be good for my husband and I to live somewhere else. This school is in a city, but it's a smaller city than we live in now. I think both of us are really meant to be country people. We have dreams of one day owning a lot of land, so our neighbors aren't too close and our kids have plenty of room to run around and play outside. The only good thing about living in the city is the convenience factor and having access to so many things nearby. However, when there is so much traffic that it takes forever to get anywhere, that sort of negates any perceived convenience. I live about eight miles from my workplace and it takes about 30 minutes to get there. Crazy.
As for baby matters, those are more or less at a standstill right now. We aren't preventing (not that it matters, obviously), but we are not doing any treatment at this time. Our RE recommended injectables (I assume with IUI), but we have to pay for it all out-of-pocket and we can't afford it right now. And with all the upheaval about law school and the possibility of moving, TTC is on the back burner. Not that I don't think about it, but it's not my priority at the moment. It's actually been nice having some things to distract me from obsessing about it so much. I'm sure once I actually start law school, I'll have even less time to think about babies.
In other exciting news, we are going on vacation in March to our most favorite place! It's one of South Carolina's Sea Islands and we love it there. J has been going there with his family since he was very young and I started going when we were dating. We set up a tent very close to the beach and spend the week doing a whole lot of nothing (i.e. walking around, collecting shells, eating, riding bikes, etc.). We are just hoping the weather will be nice while we're there. I made these reservations last July and would have preferred to go in April of this year, but I think the campsites we wanted were already reserved during that time. At any rate, we are really looking forward to our trip! It will be nice to get away and take a break from our busy lives for a few days.
I'll try not to let so much time go by before I post again!
Nov 30, 2010
A little surprised.
I said I'd be surprised if they didn't find anything wrong with me during my lap, but it seems that everything is pretty much in order! My tubes ARE clear (hooray!!!!), I don't have any endometriosis and my ovaries are normal. I do have a fibroid in my uterus (which we already knew about from an ultrasound I had last year), but it's not in a place where it's causing a problem, so they left it there. My right ovary had some adhesions beneath it and they removed those. And that was about it. Overall, everything was fairly normal and nothing was found that should be keeping us from getting pregnant.
Going forward, the doctor wants to monitor my cycles (ovulation, progesterone levels and maybe a midcycle ultrasound to look at the follicles). He said he's optimistic! I said before that I hoped they found something wrong and it was something they could fix. But now I'm thankful that they didn't find anything. I've always thought I was ovulating normally, but maybe I'm not. I know in the past that my progesterone level hasn't been as high as my doctor would like it to be, although I don't think it's really been low. So hopefully we can give my cycles a boost and this time next year we will either have a baby or be pregnant!
As for the aftermath of the surgery...it's been a pain. Of course, I was sore for a few days (I'm still tender). I had some nausea. And I had constipation. For about a week. I finally resorted to drinking a bottle of magnesium citrate (which I what I had to drink before my surgery to clean me out) to get things going. I drank this second bottle on Thanksgiving, so you can tell how my holiday went. Anyway, things seem to be back to normal in that department. Then, about a week after my surgery, I developed an itchy rash on my abdomen. My doctor said he thinks it might be an allergic reaction to the stuff they put on me to sterilize that area prior to surgery. In addition to this, I have some red puffiness around one of my incisions (well, two, but one is much worse) and my belly button is all crusty and itchy. The doctor thinks I might have a yeast infection in my belly button. I'm not sure how that happened, if that's the case, but he gave me some cream to put on it. He told me to put moist heat on the incisions (which look fine, even though the areas around them don't look great) and to take Benadryl to control the itching. I told him I had taken some Benadryl, but it wasn't helping. But I was only taking 25 mg and he said that wasn't enough and to take 50 mg. Well, 25 mg is enough to make me sleepy, so 50 mg can knock me out, but I've been doing that today and the itching has definitely been better and the rash is not as bad. I have even managed to stay awake at work! I wonder how long it'll be before all of this goes away. I just didn't realize I was going to have all this extra stuff to deal with after the surgery. But, I'm still glad I had it done.
I have less than nine months to go before I start law school! It's been almost eight months since I found out I had been accepted to law school and it has flown by. I imagine the next few months will also. In January, we're supposed to find out about scholarship awards, so I'm looking forward to that. I feel pretty confident that I'll receive something. I just hope it's enough to make a decent dent in the student loans. I hate being in debt. I guess I should be used to it. I've been in debt since I was 18 and started college. But when you're that age, you're not thinking about it. Now, I'm thinking about it. Because I know it has to be paid back. And I know I'll have to find a job that pays well enough to enable me to pay it back. The bad thing is, I still have student loans from my undergraduate days, so whatever I incur for law school is just added to that. Yuck.
This weekend we are headed to Gatlinburg for Christmas with my husband's family. It got to be too much for everyone to exchange gifts, so now his parents treat us all to a family trip each year instead of buying gifts. Works for me! They have a house in the Smoky Mountains, so that's where we'll be staying. We usually go out to eat, maybe go to a show or do laser tag or something like that. Should be fun!
In other exciting news...we got a new camera! It's so much better than the one we had previously. So maybe I will actually post some pictures on my blog now.
Going forward, the doctor wants to monitor my cycles (ovulation, progesterone levels and maybe a midcycle ultrasound to look at the follicles). He said he's optimistic! I said before that I hoped they found something wrong and it was something they could fix. But now I'm thankful that they didn't find anything. I've always thought I was ovulating normally, but maybe I'm not. I know in the past that my progesterone level hasn't been as high as my doctor would like it to be, although I don't think it's really been low. So hopefully we can give my cycles a boost and this time next year we will either have a baby or be pregnant!
As for the aftermath of the surgery...it's been a pain. Of course, I was sore for a few days (I'm still tender). I had some nausea. And I had constipation. For about a week. I finally resorted to drinking a bottle of magnesium citrate (which I what I had to drink before my surgery to clean me out) to get things going. I drank this second bottle on Thanksgiving, so you can tell how my holiday went. Anyway, things seem to be back to normal in that department. Then, about a week after my surgery, I developed an itchy rash on my abdomen. My doctor said he thinks it might be an allergic reaction to the stuff they put on me to sterilize that area prior to surgery. In addition to this, I have some red puffiness around one of my incisions (well, two, but one is much worse) and my belly button is all crusty and itchy. The doctor thinks I might have a yeast infection in my belly button. I'm not sure how that happened, if that's the case, but he gave me some cream to put on it. He told me to put moist heat on the incisions (which look fine, even though the areas around them don't look great) and to take Benadryl to control the itching. I told him I had taken some Benadryl, but it wasn't helping. But I was only taking 25 mg and he said that wasn't enough and to take 50 mg. Well, 25 mg is enough to make me sleepy, so 50 mg can knock me out, but I've been doing that today and the itching has definitely been better and the rash is not as bad. I have even managed to stay awake at work! I wonder how long it'll be before all of this goes away. I just didn't realize I was going to have all this extra stuff to deal with after the surgery. But, I'm still glad I had it done.
I have less than nine months to go before I start law school! It's been almost eight months since I found out I had been accepted to law school and it has flown by. I imagine the next few months will also. In January, we're supposed to find out about scholarship awards, so I'm looking forward to that. I feel pretty confident that I'll receive something. I just hope it's enough to make a decent dent in the student loans. I hate being in debt. I guess I should be used to it. I've been in debt since I was 18 and started college. But when you're that age, you're not thinking about it. Now, I'm thinking about it. Because I know it has to be paid back. And I know I'll have to find a job that pays well enough to enable me to pay it back. The bad thing is, I still have student loans from my undergraduate days, so whatever I incur for law school is just added to that. Yuck.
This weekend we are headed to Gatlinburg for Christmas with my husband's family. It got to be too much for everyone to exchange gifts, so now his parents treat us all to a family trip each year instead of buying gifts. Works for me! They have a house in the Smoky Mountains, so that's where we'll be staying. We usually go out to eat, maybe go to a show or do laser tag or something like that. Should be fun!
In other exciting news...we got a new camera! It's so much better than the one we had previously. So maybe I will actually post some pictures on my blog now.
Nov 12, 2010
I'm ready.
My husband finally agreed to the lap! I'm having it done on November 19th. Up until earlier this week, I wasn't nervous about it--just excited to find out what's going on in there. But now I'm nervous. Mostly about the surgery itself (I'm not thrilled about going under general anesthesia), but also a little about what we'll find out.
But I'm ready! It's been two long and stressful years, wondering what's wrong (if anything) with my body, watching so many people around me get pregnant and have babies, being angry about my circumstances and feeling sorry for myself. I'm ready for this part of the journey to end--the part where I don't know what's causing the infertility.
Of course, I'm hoping for good news (which at this point involves there being a problem they can fix and them fixing it, rather than not finding anything--if they don't find anything wrong, then we really have a problem). But it will be somewhat of a relief just to get some answers, even if they aren't what I want to hear. For example, if we find out that it's unlikely we'll conceive without medical intervention, then we know we need to make a plan (i.e. figure out how we're going to save up money) for future medicines and/or procedures. If we find out that it's unlikely we'll conceive even with help, then we know our focus needs to change to adoption. (I don't anticipate that being the case, but you never know.) I will be very surprised if they don't find something wrong. I'm just hoping it's nothing they can't fix.
In less stressful news, my favorite movie, "Back to the Future", was shown at a local movie theater on Tuesday night and J and I went to see it. I just love that movie and it was cool to see it on the big screen. In fact, I noticed a lot of details that I never had before. We were in the fourth row from the front (closer than we prefer to be), so it was definitely different than watching it at home on our (comparatively small) television.
Last weekend, we went to visit J's sister and her husband in Huntsville, Alabama. We girls did some shopping (including buying Brody a banana suit--a clearance Halloween costume; he hates it, but he looks really cute in it!), while the boys did some nerdy boy stuff. Then we met up to go to the Space and Rocket Center. I had been there before, but I was pretty young (maybe 6 or 7). I think it was a lot cooler then, but it may just be that I'm older now and it's more difficult to impress me. At any rate, it wasn't very exciting. After that, we went to eat at a yummy barbeque restaurant, then went back to their house and watched "Toy Story 3". It was a really good movie (even J liked it), but it totally made me cry.
This weekend, I'm going to the eye doctor and it's time to pick out new glasses frames! I like the ones I have now, but after wearing them for over two years, it's time for a change. I used to try to avoid wearing my glasses. But I can't really wear contacts (my eyes tend to be on the dry side and contacts are so uncomfortable for me), so I finally gave in to the glasses. Now I wear them all the time. I think I look better without them, but I guess that's part of getting older--giving up some of your vanity for comfort!
But I'm ready! It's been two long and stressful years, wondering what's wrong (if anything) with my body, watching so many people around me get pregnant and have babies, being angry about my circumstances and feeling sorry for myself. I'm ready for this part of the journey to end--the part where I don't know what's causing the infertility.
Of course, I'm hoping for good news (which at this point involves there being a problem they can fix and them fixing it, rather than not finding anything--if they don't find anything wrong, then we really have a problem). But it will be somewhat of a relief just to get some answers, even if they aren't what I want to hear. For example, if we find out that it's unlikely we'll conceive without medical intervention, then we know we need to make a plan (i.e. figure out how we're going to save up money) for future medicines and/or procedures. If we find out that it's unlikely we'll conceive even with help, then we know our focus needs to change to adoption. (I don't anticipate that being the case, but you never know.) I will be very surprised if they don't find something wrong. I'm just hoping it's nothing they can't fix.
In less stressful news, my favorite movie, "Back to the Future", was shown at a local movie theater on Tuesday night and J and I went to see it. I just love that movie and it was cool to see it on the big screen. In fact, I noticed a lot of details that I never had before. We were in the fourth row from the front (closer than we prefer to be), so it was definitely different than watching it at home on our (comparatively small) television.
Last weekend, we went to visit J's sister and her husband in Huntsville, Alabama. We girls did some shopping (including buying Brody a banana suit--a clearance Halloween costume; he hates it, but he looks really cute in it!), while the boys did some nerdy boy stuff. Then we met up to go to the Space and Rocket Center. I had been there before, but I was pretty young (maybe 6 or 7). I think it was a lot cooler then, but it may just be that I'm older now and it's more difficult to impress me. At any rate, it wasn't very exciting. After that, we went to eat at a yummy barbeque restaurant, then went back to their house and watched "Toy Story 3". It was a really good movie (even J liked it), but it totally made me cry.
This weekend, I'm going to the eye doctor and it's time to pick out new glasses frames! I like the ones I have now, but after wearing them for over two years, it's time for a change. I used to try to avoid wearing my glasses. But I can't really wear contacts (my eyes tend to be on the dry side and contacts are so uncomfortable for me), so I finally gave in to the glasses. Now I wear them all the time. I think I look better without them, but I guess that's part of getting older--giving up some of your vanity for comfort!
Oct 18, 2010
Autumn is here!
October has proved to be a pretty busy month around our house. J finally found a job and although it's only part-time right now (we're hoping it'll eventually turn in to full-time), it's helping to keep him busy. He's also been doing some computer work with his on-the-side business and has had things going on several weekends this month. He has an out-of-town job later this week, so he's leaving me from Thursday to Saturday, I think. As far as I know, this is the last thing he has scheduled for the time being. The weather has finally turned nice and I hope it stays this way for a while. It'd be nice to have some weekends to enjoy it together! At least I've had the doggies to keep me company while J's been so busy. Although, admittedly, the three of us actually just spend a good deal of the time he's gone sitting on the couch watching TV. BUT, it's not often that I have time to do that (or have total control of the remote without someone complaining about what I'm watching), so I have to take advantage of it!
I think I had vowed to start exercising regularly when I had my 31st birthday in August, but I didn't really get going on that until the end of September. A few weeks late is certainly better than never. I've been running! I started out walking and running, but now I can run for 30 minutes straight. I'm very proud of myself, as I don't believe I've ever done this before in my life. (If you are a real runner, please don't laugh. I guess 30 minutes is not that long. But I'm new to this.) I'm going to continue to try to do that each time I work out until it's comfortable and I feel like I can do more, then start adding time on. Our treadmill has a display on it that tells you how far you've gone, but the battery needs to be replaced. I tried to do it...but I can't get the battery out. So I'm waiting on J to do it. I'm very curious to know how far I've been going. I'm thinking about doing a half marathon at the end of April, but I really don't want to do it by myself. I'd love it if J would do it with me, but I'm still trying to talk him in to working out at all. So we'll see. It also costs around $100 to enter and I don't know if it's worth that. But I think that having a goal would be good motivation to keep working out and pushing myself to do better.
I'm still waiting on J to give me the final "yes" for the surgery. He has been so busy lately that he hasn't had much time to think about it. He's leaning toward "yes" and I think that will be the final verdict, but I wish he'd hurry up! I had it scheduled for December, but went ahead and moved it up to November. My pre-op appointment is November 1st--just two weeks away. It's probably not normal to be so excited to have surgery, but I'm beyond ready to know what's going on with my uncooperative reproductive system!
I'm hoping to buy a new camera soon and then I'll start posting some pictures on my blog. Our current camera is old. Old and sad. I actually think it came out of the garbage. Really. J used to work at this technology store/computer repair place and I think he found it in the garbage there. It works, but it really is time for it to go. I don't need anything too fancy right now (we'll get something nice when it's baby time), just something less bulky and that takes better pictures. Any suggestions? I don't want to spend more than $200.
I think I had vowed to start exercising regularly when I had my 31st birthday in August, but I didn't really get going on that until the end of September. A few weeks late is certainly better than never. I've been running! I started out walking and running, but now I can run for 30 minutes straight. I'm very proud of myself, as I don't believe I've ever done this before in my life. (If you are a real runner, please don't laugh. I guess 30 minutes is not that long. But I'm new to this.) I'm going to continue to try to do that each time I work out until it's comfortable and I feel like I can do more, then start adding time on. Our treadmill has a display on it that tells you how far you've gone, but the battery needs to be replaced. I tried to do it...but I can't get the battery out. So I'm waiting on J to do it. I'm very curious to know how far I've been going. I'm thinking about doing a half marathon at the end of April, but I really don't want to do it by myself. I'd love it if J would do it with me, but I'm still trying to talk him in to working out at all. So we'll see. It also costs around $100 to enter and I don't know if it's worth that. But I think that having a goal would be good motivation to keep working out and pushing myself to do better.
I'm still waiting on J to give me the final "yes" for the surgery. He has been so busy lately that he hasn't had much time to think about it. He's leaning toward "yes" and I think that will be the final verdict, but I wish he'd hurry up! I had it scheduled for December, but went ahead and moved it up to November. My pre-op appointment is November 1st--just two weeks away. It's probably not normal to be so excited to have surgery, but I'm beyond ready to know what's going on with my uncooperative reproductive system!
I'm hoping to buy a new camera soon and then I'll start posting some pictures on my blog. Our current camera is old. Old and sad. I actually think it came out of the garbage. Really. J used to work at this technology store/computer repair place and I think he found it in the garbage there. It works, but it really is time for it to go. I don't need anything too fancy right now (we'll get something nice when it's baby time), just something less bulky and that takes better pictures. Any suggestions? I don't want to spend more than $200.
Oct 9, 2010
Infertility.
I haven't deserted my blog, despite what my almost three month absence might lead one to believe. Today's subject is infertility. More specifically, my struggle with infertility.
We have been trying to start our family for nearly two years. As of right now, we aren't sure what the problem is. My husband has been tested and was fine. I had an HSG done and it showed that my tubes were blocked. This is not always a reliable test and we aren't positive that the tubes are actually blocked. However, my cycles are regular and I ovulate on my own. So there is something keeping us from getting pregnant.
Our next step is for me to have a diagnostic laparoscopy. I have the surgery scheduled for December, but I'm still waiting for my husband to give me the final go-ahead. He has some reservations about it. I'm hoping to get an answer from him within the next few days.
This has had a huge impact on my life. When you're young and thinking about the future, you never consider the fact that you might have trouble getting pregnant. You just assume things will happen the way they are supposed to. I was excited when we finally started trying, as I'd been wanting to for a while. As the months passed and nothing happened, I became concerned and decided it was time to see a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). But I kept hoping it would just happen naturally.
I took a pregnancy test this morning (which is something I don't bother doing very often). It was negative. No big surprise there. But this was perhaps the least disappointed I've ever been with that result. Not that it's not disappointing. But I have gotten to the point (finally) where my feelings are starting to change.
Over the past two years, I have become jaded and bitter. I get irritated any time I see a pregnant woman (it doesn't matter whether I not I know the person, although if I know them, I get more irritated). I have a good friend who is expecting a baby in a few weeks and I have certainly not been a great friend to her during her pregnancy. I have kept my distance and, when I have talked to her or been around her, tried not to talk too much about the baby. Any pregnant women is like a neon sign to me, blinking "YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT!". It's very frustrating. I know this is terrible. I'm aware that this is not the way a Christian should act. But my desire to become a mother is so strong that my emotions take over the logical part of my brain. Well, I guess I let them take over. There have been so many people around me who've had babies in the time since we started trying. I find it tough to ignore the feelings these constant reminders cause.
I've spent too much time feeling sorry for myself because I've been unable to get pregnant. Over the past few days, I have started to feel somewhat better about my situation. Part of it is because I'm hoping to get the laparoscopy done and find out what the problem is. Even if the problem can't be fixed, at least I'll know where we stand and we can make a plan for the future. (But I hope, of course, that the surgery will be able to fix what's wrong.) Part of it is because I believe that somehow, someday, I will be a mother. It may not be in my timing and it may not be the way I've expected, but it will happen. Unfortunately, patience is not my strong suit. I know I need to depend on God and wait on His plans, but this is difficult for me. I'm a planner and I like to be in control. I like to know what's going to happen. So it's tough for me to just pray and let it go. But I know that's what I need to do.
God knows what's best for me. I don't. That's all there is to it.
We have been trying to start our family for nearly two years. As of right now, we aren't sure what the problem is. My husband has been tested and was fine. I had an HSG done and it showed that my tubes were blocked. This is not always a reliable test and we aren't positive that the tubes are actually blocked. However, my cycles are regular and I ovulate on my own. So there is something keeping us from getting pregnant.
Our next step is for me to have a diagnostic laparoscopy. I have the surgery scheduled for December, but I'm still waiting for my husband to give me the final go-ahead. He has some reservations about it. I'm hoping to get an answer from him within the next few days.
This has had a huge impact on my life. When you're young and thinking about the future, you never consider the fact that you might have trouble getting pregnant. You just assume things will happen the way they are supposed to. I was excited when we finally started trying, as I'd been wanting to for a while. As the months passed and nothing happened, I became concerned and decided it was time to see a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). But I kept hoping it would just happen naturally.
I took a pregnancy test this morning (which is something I don't bother doing very often). It was negative. No big surprise there. But this was perhaps the least disappointed I've ever been with that result. Not that it's not disappointing. But I have gotten to the point (finally) where my feelings are starting to change.
Over the past two years, I have become jaded and bitter. I get irritated any time I see a pregnant woman (it doesn't matter whether I not I know the person, although if I know them, I get more irritated). I have a good friend who is expecting a baby in a few weeks and I have certainly not been a great friend to her during her pregnancy. I have kept my distance and, when I have talked to her or been around her, tried not to talk too much about the baby. Any pregnant women is like a neon sign to me, blinking "YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT!". It's very frustrating. I know this is terrible. I'm aware that this is not the way a Christian should act. But my desire to become a mother is so strong that my emotions take over the logical part of my brain. Well, I guess I let them take over. There have been so many people around me who've had babies in the time since we started trying. I find it tough to ignore the feelings these constant reminders cause.
I've spent too much time feeling sorry for myself because I've been unable to get pregnant. Over the past few days, I have started to feel somewhat better about my situation. Part of it is because I'm hoping to get the laparoscopy done and find out what the problem is. Even if the problem can't be fixed, at least I'll know where we stand and we can make a plan for the future. (But I hope, of course, that the surgery will be able to fix what's wrong.) Part of it is because I believe that somehow, someday, I will be a mother. It may not be in my timing and it may not be the way I've expected, but it will happen. Unfortunately, patience is not my strong suit. I know I need to depend on God and wait on His plans, but this is difficult for me. I'm a planner and I like to be in control. I like to know what's going to happen. So it's tough for me to just pray and let it go. But I know that's what I need to do.
God knows what's best for me. I don't. That's all there is to it.
Jul 20, 2010
Law school.
hsner
I'll be starting law school in a little over a year. I'm sure the next year will go by quickly, as they all seem to. I imagine that this time next year, I'll be trying to get things in order, making sure I have all the supplies I need, getting ready to quit my job, hoping we can make it all work. I'm nervous about going back to school. I've said in the past that it was something I wouldn't do. But I need something more financially and personally rewarding than what I'm doing now. I don't see myself being a secretary forever. I can see myself being an attorney, but getting there is most certainly going to take me out of my comfort zone. I'm one of those people who is going to law school because I think I'd be good at it and because I don't know what else to do. Perhaps that's not the best reason to go into a rather large amount of debt (although I hope to get some scholarship money), but there it is.
Another reason for this foray into a career I did not previously care anything about is that I'm hoping to work for myself. Maybe not at first, but eventually. I'd like to have my own practice so that I can be in control of things. I have no desire to work for someone else, being told what to do and when to do it. I want to be able to make the decision about whether to take on a case. I want to be able to take a break or a vacation when I feel like it. I realize you have to take the clients needs into consideration, but I think that's better for me than having to cater to the needs and wants of other attorneys.
Right now I'm most interested in real estate law. And possibly health law. Those are certainly subject to change once I start learning more about them and about the other types of law. I know I am absolutely not interested in family law (too sad and stressful) or tax law (too complicated).
I am concerned about how much studying I'll have to do in order to do well. Or just to keep up, for that matter. It has been a long time since I've really had to study for anything (other than the LSAT) and I fear that my ability to concentrate on something for long periods of time has diminished ever so slightly. Maybe a lot. Especially when it comes to something boring. Yes, I think law is basically boring. I told you I was only doing this because I don't know what else to do. I just hope I can stay awake in class.
I hope that four years from now, I'm glad I did it. I hope I pass the bar. I hope I can find a job that I enjoy. I also hope I can look back and say that I stayed awake throughout every single class. THAT is a true accomplishment and something to be proud of.
Jul 8, 2010
Busy and boring.
Not that anyone has particularly noticed, but I haven't blogged in a few days. Life has a way of being busy, even when it's not all that interesting (at least to people other than yourself) and that's where I'm at.
I keep thinking about working out and then I keep not doing it. That has really got to stop! I worked out a whopping total of five times in June. Maybe I can do better this month, but here we are on July 8th and I haven't done it even once. I was thinking, though, about making a "Birthday Resolution". I have, in the past, made New Year's Resolutions, which have more or less not resulted in any major or lasting changes in my life. But here I am, about to turn 31 years old next month. I've always been on the thin side, but as I get older, I see a change. My weight hasn't really changed, but things just seem to be in different places. I'm not sure how that works, because I may look bigger in one place, but no other places are smaller. Anyway, I've decided to use my 31st birthday as a starting point for really and truly trying to do better about exercising and eating better. (REALLY. I mean it.) I especially need to cut down on the sugar. I am a major sugar addict. I need it. As I type this, I'm drinking a nice, sugary glass of grape Kool-Aid. It's delicious. So I need to work on cutting down on the sweet stuff. That's probably the biggest problem I have when it comes to my diet. That and carbs. I love carbs, too. I don't see how people can go without them.
But I digress.
I really want to make a positive change in the health area of my life. It starts August 17th. I'm not going to go all crazy and pig out until then or anything. But that's the official start date. Seriously.
I keep thinking about working out and then I keep not doing it. That has really got to stop! I worked out a whopping total of five times in June. Maybe I can do better this month, but here we are on July 8th and I haven't done it even once. I was thinking, though, about making a "Birthday Resolution". I have, in the past, made New Year's Resolutions, which have more or less not resulted in any major or lasting changes in my life. But here I am, about to turn 31 years old next month. I've always been on the thin side, but as I get older, I see a change. My weight hasn't really changed, but things just seem to be in different places. I'm not sure how that works, because I may look bigger in one place, but no other places are smaller. Anyway, I've decided to use my 31st birthday as a starting point for really and truly trying to do better about exercising and eating better. (REALLY. I mean it.) I especially need to cut down on the sugar. I am a major sugar addict. I need it. As I type this, I'm drinking a nice, sugary glass of grape Kool-Aid. It's delicious. So I need to work on cutting down on the sweet stuff. That's probably the biggest problem I have when it comes to my diet. That and carbs. I love carbs, too. I don't see how people can go without them.
But I digress.
I really want to make a positive change in the health area of my life. It starts August 17th. I'm not going to go all crazy and pig out until then or anything. But that's the official start date. Seriously.
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