24 Weeks Old!

I really didn't mean to neglect my blog for so many months, but life has been busy and I just haven't made this a priority. But I'm back! With a 5 1/2 month old son!

K was born on April 2nd. He was due on March 20th, but clearly had no plans to come out without being evicted. I went in on April 1st to be induced. I had planned to go without pain medication and was able to do so. Things were going along well (I thought) and I was sitting on a birthing ball working through contractions when a nurse told me that the baby didn't like that position and that I needed to get on the bed. I don't even think I had climbed all the way in the bed before a bunch of people rushed in and, before long, I was being wheeled to the OR for an emergency C-section. The baby's heartbeat had dropped, so they decided it was best to get him out sooner rather than later. Since I hadn't had any pain medication, I had to be put under with general anesthesia. My husband wasn't allowed in the OR due to the general anesthesia (I'm not sure why), so neither of us got to see the baby immediately after he was born or got to be the first ones to hold him. I'm still sad about that. I hate that I missed that magical first hour of his life because I was unconscious. It just didn't go at all the way I'd planned and hoped. But, he was healthy and, in the end, that's the most important thing.

Being a mother is amazing, as I knew it would be. I absolutely love it. The first few weeks were a bit rough, but crazy hormones and lack of sleep takes its toll. By three months or so, things were better and I felt more normal again. Now he's almost six months old and he's so much fun! I love seeing him learning new things and growing and changing. Every day is an adventure! At the same time, whenever he learns something new or grows out of an outfit that I love, it makes me sad. It's bittersweet...of course you want your child to be healthy and grow and become an independent person eventually...but there's nothing like the sweet baby you have for a few short months. It goes by way too fast. I think the fact that it took so long to become a parent and was something I wasn't sure was ever going to happen (at least not without adoption) makes me appreciate it even more. I just want to soak it all in.

I'll be back, hopefully sooner than a few months from now, to go into more detail about the past few months. I'll wrap it up with some pictures of my sweet boy.

37 Weeks

Baby boy is full term today! It's very exciting to be at this point. I'm also starting to stress a little because I don't know WHEN it's going to happen. I don't know WHEN he's going to arrive. It could be anytime in the next five weeks. We are still pretty far from having the house and nursery ready for his arrival, so I hope it's not too soon. But there's just no way to know how much time we have. I feel like I've been fairly calm up until this point, but now that we've hit the 37 week mark, I feel some anxiety about not knowing. Don't get me wrong--I don't WANT to know. I could never be one of those women who pick their baby's due date (unless I had to for a medical reason). But that doesn't make it less stressful!

Everything is going well. I haven't had any signs that I'm making any progress towards labor yet. The midwives I'm seeing generally don't check to see if you're progressing unless there's a reason to, so it's just a waiting game for now.

We're hoping to get the house to the point where we can get the nursery put together this weekend. I'll feel better when that's done. (Even though the baby is probably not going to be sleeping in there for a while.) We have so much stuff of his that needs to be put away and right now we have nowhere to put it. His nursery is currently the guest room, but we've been sleeping in there for months because the mattress in there is more comfortable (although it's smaller) than the one in the master bedroom. So right now the master bedroom is Baby Stuff Central. And some of the bigger stuff (including the crib) is still at my in-law's house. When we get the guest room cleaned out and move the baby stuff in there, we'll be back in the master bedroom. But we're getting a new mattress for that room, which we're pretty excited about. So much to do!

31 Weeks 1 Day

The third trimester has arrived! I'm so glad we only have a few weeks left until we get to meet our little boy! Time seems to be going by pretty quickly, which is good and bad. It's good because we're excited to add this new little person to our family. It's bad because we still have SO many things to do before he's born.

The main thing is getting the house ready. My husband collects electronics and other things that collect dust. He has an incredible amount of junk. He's also not a very organized kind of person. He's not good about throwing things away. All of this adds up to a whole bunch of stuff that needs to be gone through and organized before the baby makes his debut. My husband is also a procrastinator. I'm pretty much the opposite of him in all these ways, but it's his stuff, so he really has to be the one to take care of it. I really wonder if everything will be ready by the time the baby is born, but I don't have much control over the situation.

Pregnancy has begun to be uncomfortable by this point. Overall, I think my second trimester was fairly easy. I wasn't having morning sickness. I finally looked pregnant to people who didn't already know I was. My maternity clothes fit. Now, in the glorious third trimester, my belly aches from the weight, I am outgrowing some of my maternity clothes and I'm not sure if they'll last until the end, I feel like I've started to waddle a little bit, I'm having annoying Braxton-Hicks contractions, I sometimes get short of breath, sometimes it's hard to find a comfortable position to sit or recline in and I start feeling bad and have to sit down if I'm on my feet for too long. Even doing things around the house (laundry and vacumming, for example) make me feel bad. I've started dreading going shopping because it's hard for me to be on my feet for that long. I have to scope out a place to sit when I go in somewhere so I know where to go if I need to.

I'm not complaining, though. I'm simply stating the facts. I couldn't be happier to be having this baby and I'll deal with whatever I have to! But I'll still be glad not to be pregnant anymore! There are things about it I'll miss, though. I love feeling the baby move around and I'll defintely miss that. When you don't feel bad, I think it's just enjoyable in general to be pregnant and to look pregnant. I waited so long for it that I can't help but appreciate the blessing that pregnancy is. When I wasn't pregnant, when I wondered if I ever would be, one of the things that made me sad was the thought of not experiencing pregnancy. It wasn't just about having a baby, although, of course, that's the most important part. I really wanted to have the experience of carrying a child too. Even when I feel the worst, I'm so thankful I'm getting to experience it now.

We started out childbirth class on January 3rd. It meets from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. every Tuesday for six weeks. So far we've been to three classes. I considered not doing a class at all due to the cost, but, in the end, I figured this would be the best thing, particularly for J. He will be my support person and partner during labor and I thought that attending a class would be beneficial for him. I bought a book for us to read on the partner's role during childbirth, but he hasn't started it yet, even though we've had it for a little while. And that's why I figured we better go ahead with the class--in case he never got around to reading the book, I wanted him to have some idea of what he needs to do and what to expect. So far, I think it's been a good thing for us and hopefully he's learned some things that he can use during labor.

In law school news, I've now been accepted to three of the five law schools I applied to. I haven't heard from the other two yet. One of them I fully expect to be accepted to and the other one...I really just don't know. I think it could go either way or I could possibly be put on the waitlist. It's been over two months since my application was complete at that school, so I really wish they'd just let me know! Two of the schools I was accepted to are in Alabama and the other is in South Carolina. I'm really not that keen on living in Alabama. South Carolina is appealing (it's where we go for vacation), but it's just so far away from our families and everything we know. If there wasn't a baby involved, it would be easier to make that transition. But I hate to take him so far away from his grandparents and other people who love him and would like to watch him grow up, instead of having to look at pictures or videos most of the time.

The school I expect to get into that I haven't heard from yet is local to where we now live. I don't relish the idea of staying where we are for at least another four years (it's a part-time program, so it's four years instead of the typical three for law school). However, it's appealing because it's easy. We can stay in the house we're in now (although I'd like to be able to afford to move out sooner rather than later). I could, theoretically, stay home with the baby during the day, then go to my classes at night. J would be home with him when I'm in class, of course, so that means we wouldn't have to hire a baby-sitter. (I say that I could "theoretically stay home" because that would depend on J's job situation. As of right now, he still has not found a job. Obviously, one of us has to be working, but it would be really difficult for me to have a young child, go to law school and work, all at the same time.) This is the school that is not ABA-approved, though, so that means I'm limited on where I can work (and, therefore, live) once I'm done with school. That's the main downside. But I'm having a hard time with the idea of going to a full-time school, being gone for several hours a day for class, then having to spend several hours at night studying...all while trying to be a good wife and mom. If I go to the part-time, non-ABA school, I get to spend more time with the baby and would only have class two nights a week instead of five days a week.

We have so many decisions to make right now and it's so difficult to know what the best thing is to do!