Despite appearances, I haven't deserted my blog. I've thought about posting something, but I just haven't gotten around to it. Life has been busy and there have been some changes recently. And there are more to come.
The main thing going on in my life right now is making a decision about law school. I was accepted at a school near where we live, but after receiving my scholarship information from them, we decided that was not the best option. It was a crummy scholarship award and this particular school is absolutely not worth getting into that much debt. No school would be, in my opinion. But especially not this one. It's a new law school (although the university it's associated with is not new) and has no reputation behind it. Plus, for a new school, they sure are asking a lot for tuition. $32,000 a year! So I withdrew from there and I'm in the process of figuring out what to do next.
Sort of on a whim, I decided to apply to a school that is around four and a half hours from where we live now. It had been on my list of possible schools previously. There were some schools on my list whose standards would make me feel the need to retake the LSAT before I applied to them. Not that I absolutely couldn't get in with what I have now, necessarily, but I would need a higher score to get a better (or any) scholarship. But at this particular school, my LSAT score and GPA are both in their 75th percentile, so I felt comfortable going ahead and applying. I'd like to start school this August and retaking the LSAT would mean waiting another year to start. Anyway, I whipped up a personal statement and got everything in order and submitted my application on February 11th. They have an application status checker, so I was (a little obsessively) checking that to see if there was any movement on my application. Finally, I decided to email the admissions director and ask him if he could give me a ballpark figure about how long it usually takes for a student to receive their decision. He said that I am scheduled to be deliberated upon by the Admissions Committee on February 24th! And he should be able to let me know something on the 25th. Also, scholarship decisions are made within one week of the admission decision and he said it might possibly be made by the 25th! I'm not worried about getting in, but I am really anxious to hear about the money. I wish it didn't have to be such an issue, but it is. We don't want to be in a lot of debt, especially when the legal market is so unpredictable right now and we don't even know if I'll be able to find a good job once I graduate. We have a figure in our head about the amount that will allow us to seriously consider this school, so we'll see what they offer me and go from there.
I think this school would be a great fit for me and I'm hoping it works out. I also think it would be good for my husband and I to live somewhere else. This school is in a city, but it's a smaller city than we live in now. I think both of us are really meant to be country people. We have dreams of one day owning a lot of land, so our neighbors aren't too close and our kids have plenty of room to run around and play outside. The only good thing about living in the city is the convenience factor and having access to so many things nearby. However, when there is so much traffic that it takes forever to get anywhere, that sort of negates any perceived convenience. I live about eight miles from my workplace and it takes about 30 minutes to get there. Crazy.
As for baby matters, those are more or less at a standstill right now. We aren't preventing (not that it matters, obviously), but we are not doing any treatment at this time. Our RE recommended injectables (I assume with IUI), but we have to pay for it all out-of-pocket and we can't afford it right now. And with all the upheaval about law school and the possibility of moving, TTC is on the back burner. Not that I don't think about it, but it's not my priority at the moment. It's actually been nice having some things to distract me from obsessing about it so much. I'm sure once I actually start law school, I'll have even less time to think about babies.
In other exciting news, we are going on vacation in March to our most favorite place! It's one of South Carolina's Sea Islands and we love it there. J has been going there with his family since he was very young and I started going when we were dating. We set up a tent very close to the beach and spend the week doing a whole lot of nothing (i.e. walking around, collecting shells, eating, riding bikes, etc.). We are just hoping the weather will be nice while we're there. I made these reservations last July and would have preferred to go in April of this year, but I think the campsites we wanted were already reserved during that time. At any rate, we are really looking forward to our trip! It will be nice to get away and take a break from our busy lives for a few days.
I'll try not to let so much time go by before I post again!
Feb 22, 2011
Nov 30, 2010
A little surprised.
I said I'd be surprised if they didn't find anything wrong with me during my lap, but it seems that everything is pretty much in order! My tubes ARE clear (hooray!!!!), I don't have any endometriosis and my ovaries are normal. I do have a fibroid in my uterus (which we already knew about from an ultrasound I had last year), but it's not in a place where it's causing a problem, so they left it there. My right ovary had some adhesions beneath it and they removed those. And that was about it. Overall, everything was fairly normal and nothing was found that should be keeping us from getting pregnant.
Going forward, the doctor wants to monitor my cycles (ovulation, progesterone levels and maybe a midcycle ultrasound to look at the follicles). He said he's optimistic! I said before that I hoped they found something wrong and it was something they could fix. But now I'm thankful that they didn't find anything. I've always thought I was ovulating normally, but maybe I'm not. I know in the past that my progesterone level hasn't been as high as my doctor would like it to be, although I don't think it's really been low. So hopefully we can give my cycles a boost and this time next year we will either have a baby or be pregnant!
As for the aftermath of the surgery...it's been a pain. Of course, I was sore for a few days (I'm still tender). I had some nausea. And I had constipation. For about a week. I finally resorted to drinking a bottle of magnesium citrate (which I what I had to drink before my surgery to clean me out) to get things going. I drank this second bottle on Thanksgiving, so you can tell how my holiday went. Anyway, things seem to be back to normal in that department. Then, about a week after my surgery, I developed an itchy rash on my abdomen. My doctor said he thinks it might be an allergic reaction to the stuff they put on me to sterilize that area prior to surgery. In addition to this, I have some red puffiness around one of my incisions (well, two, but one is much worse) and my belly button is all crusty and itchy. The doctor thinks I might have a yeast infection in my belly button. I'm not sure how that happened, if that's the case, but he gave me some cream to put on it. He told me to put moist heat on the incisions (which look fine, even though the areas around them don't look great) and to take Benadryl to control the itching. I told him I had taken some Benadryl, but it wasn't helping. But I was only taking 25 mg and he said that wasn't enough and to take 50 mg. Well, 25 mg is enough to make me sleepy, so 50 mg can knock me out, but I've been doing that today and the itching has definitely been better and the rash is not as bad. I have even managed to stay awake at work! I wonder how long it'll be before all of this goes away. I just didn't realize I was going to have all this extra stuff to deal with after the surgery. But, I'm still glad I had it done.
I have less than nine months to go before I start law school! It's been almost eight months since I found out I had been accepted to law school and it has flown by. I imagine the next few months will also. In January, we're supposed to find out about scholarship awards, so I'm looking forward to that. I feel pretty confident that I'll receive something. I just hope it's enough to make a decent dent in the student loans. I hate being in debt. I guess I should be used to it. I've been in debt since I was 18 and started college. But when you're that age, you're not thinking about it. Now, I'm thinking about it. Because I know it has to be paid back. And I know I'll have to find a job that pays well enough to enable me to pay it back. The bad thing is, I still have student loans from my undergraduate days, so whatever I incur for law school is just added to that. Yuck.
This weekend we are headed to Gatlinburg for Christmas with my husband's family. It got to be too much for everyone to exchange gifts, so now his parents treat us all to a family trip each year instead of buying gifts. Works for me! They have a house in the Smoky Mountains, so that's where we'll be staying. We usually go out to eat, maybe go to a show or do laser tag or something like that. Should be fun!
In other exciting news...we got a new camera! It's so much better than the one we had previously. So maybe I will actually post some pictures on my blog now.
Going forward, the doctor wants to monitor my cycles (ovulation, progesterone levels and maybe a midcycle ultrasound to look at the follicles). He said he's optimistic! I said before that I hoped they found something wrong and it was something they could fix. But now I'm thankful that they didn't find anything. I've always thought I was ovulating normally, but maybe I'm not. I know in the past that my progesterone level hasn't been as high as my doctor would like it to be, although I don't think it's really been low. So hopefully we can give my cycles a boost and this time next year we will either have a baby or be pregnant!
As for the aftermath of the surgery...it's been a pain. Of course, I was sore for a few days (I'm still tender). I had some nausea. And I had constipation. For about a week. I finally resorted to drinking a bottle of magnesium citrate (which I what I had to drink before my surgery to clean me out) to get things going. I drank this second bottle on Thanksgiving, so you can tell how my holiday went. Anyway, things seem to be back to normal in that department. Then, about a week after my surgery, I developed an itchy rash on my abdomen. My doctor said he thinks it might be an allergic reaction to the stuff they put on me to sterilize that area prior to surgery. In addition to this, I have some red puffiness around one of my incisions (well, two, but one is much worse) and my belly button is all crusty and itchy. The doctor thinks I might have a yeast infection in my belly button. I'm not sure how that happened, if that's the case, but he gave me some cream to put on it. He told me to put moist heat on the incisions (which look fine, even though the areas around them don't look great) and to take Benadryl to control the itching. I told him I had taken some Benadryl, but it wasn't helping. But I was only taking 25 mg and he said that wasn't enough and to take 50 mg. Well, 25 mg is enough to make me sleepy, so 50 mg can knock me out, but I've been doing that today and the itching has definitely been better and the rash is not as bad. I have even managed to stay awake at work! I wonder how long it'll be before all of this goes away. I just didn't realize I was going to have all this extra stuff to deal with after the surgery. But, I'm still glad I had it done.
I have less than nine months to go before I start law school! It's been almost eight months since I found out I had been accepted to law school and it has flown by. I imagine the next few months will also. In January, we're supposed to find out about scholarship awards, so I'm looking forward to that. I feel pretty confident that I'll receive something. I just hope it's enough to make a decent dent in the student loans. I hate being in debt. I guess I should be used to it. I've been in debt since I was 18 and started college. But when you're that age, you're not thinking about it. Now, I'm thinking about it. Because I know it has to be paid back. And I know I'll have to find a job that pays well enough to enable me to pay it back. The bad thing is, I still have student loans from my undergraduate days, so whatever I incur for law school is just added to that. Yuck.
This weekend we are headed to Gatlinburg for Christmas with my husband's family. It got to be too much for everyone to exchange gifts, so now his parents treat us all to a family trip each year instead of buying gifts. Works for me! They have a house in the Smoky Mountains, so that's where we'll be staying. We usually go out to eat, maybe go to a show or do laser tag or something like that. Should be fun!
In other exciting news...we got a new camera! It's so much better than the one we had previously. So maybe I will actually post some pictures on my blog now.
Nov 12, 2010
I'm ready.
My husband finally agreed to the lap! I'm having it done on November 19th. Up until earlier this week, I wasn't nervous about it--just excited to find out what's going on in there. But now I'm nervous. Mostly about the surgery itself (I'm not thrilled about going under general anesthesia), but also a little about what we'll find out.
But I'm ready! It's been two long and stressful years, wondering what's wrong (if anything) with my body, watching so many people around me get pregnant and have babies, being angry about my circumstances and feeling sorry for myself. I'm ready for this part of the journey to end--the part where I don't know what's causing the infertility.
Of course, I'm hoping for good news (which at this point involves there being a problem they can fix and them fixing it, rather than not finding anything--if they don't find anything wrong, then we really have a problem). But it will be somewhat of a relief just to get some answers, even if they aren't what I want to hear. For example, if we find out that it's unlikely we'll conceive without medical intervention, then we know we need to make a plan (i.e. figure out how we're going to save up money) for future medicines and/or procedures. If we find out that it's unlikely we'll conceive even with help, then we know our focus needs to change to adoption. (I don't anticipate that being the case, but you never know.) I will be very surprised if they don't find something wrong. I'm just hoping it's nothing they can't fix.
In less stressful news, my favorite movie, "Back to the Future", was shown at a local movie theater on Tuesday night and J and I went to see it. I just love that movie and it was cool to see it on the big screen. In fact, I noticed a lot of details that I never had before. We were in the fourth row from the front (closer than we prefer to be), so it was definitely different than watching it at home on our (comparatively small) television.
Last weekend, we went to visit J's sister and her husband in Huntsville, Alabama. We girls did some shopping (including buying Brody a banana suit--a clearance Halloween costume; he hates it, but he looks really cute in it!), while the boys did some nerdy boy stuff. Then we met up to go to the Space and Rocket Center. I had been there before, but I was pretty young (maybe 6 or 7). I think it was a lot cooler then, but it may just be that I'm older now and it's more difficult to impress me. At any rate, it wasn't very exciting. After that, we went to eat at a yummy barbeque restaurant, then went back to their house and watched "Toy Story 3". It was a really good movie (even J liked it), but it totally made me cry.
This weekend, I'm going to the eye doctor and it's time to pick out new glasses frames! I like the ones I have now, but after wearing them for over two years, it's time for a change. I used to try to avoid wearing my glasses. But I can't really wear contacts (my eyes tend to be on the dry side and contacts are so uncomfortable for me), so I finally gave in to the glasses. Now I wear them all the time. I think I look better without them, but I guess that's part of getting older--giving up some of your vanity for comfort!
But I'm ready! It's been two long and stressful years, wondering what's wrong (if anything) with my body, watching so many people around me get pregnant and have babies, being angry about my circumstances and feeling sorry for myself. I'm ready for this part of the journey to end--the part where I don't know what's causing the infertility.
Of course, I'm hoping for good news (which at this point involves there being a problem they can fix and them fixing it, rather than not finding anything--if they don't find anything wrong, then we really have a problem). But it will be somewhat of a relief just to get some answers, even if they aren't what I want to hear. For example, if we find out that it's unlikely we'll conceive without medical intervention, then we know we need to make a plan (i.e. figure out how we're going to save up money) for future medicines and/or procedures. If we find out that it's unlikely we'll conceive even with help, then we know our focus needs to change to adoption. (I don't anticipate that being the case, but you never know.) I will be very surprised if they don't find something wrong. I'm just hoping it's nothing they can't fix.
In less stressful news, my favorite movie, "Back to the Future", was shown at a local movie theater on Tuesday night and J and I went to see it. I just love that movie and it was cool to see it on the big screen. In fact, I noticed a lot of details that I never had before. We were in the fourth row from the front (closer than we prefer to be), so it was definitely different than watching it at home on our (comparatively small) television.
Last weekend, we went to visit J's sister and her husband in Huntsville, Alabama. We girls did some shopping (including buying Brody a banana suit--a clearance Halloween costume; he hates it, but he looks really cute in it!), while the boys did some nerdy boy stuff. Then we met up to go to the Space and Rocket Center. I had been there before, but I was pretty young (maybe 6 or 7). I think it was a lot cooler then, but it may just be that I'm older now and it's more difficult to impress me. At any rate, it wasn't very exciting. After that, we went to eat at a yummy barbeque restaurant, then went back to their house and watched "Toy Story 3". It was a really good movie (even J liked it), but it totally made me cry.
This weekend, I'm going to the eye doctor and it's time to pick out new glasses frames! I like the ones I have now, but after wearing them for over two years, it's time for a change. I used to try to avoid wearing my glasses. But I can't really wear contacts (my eyes tend to be on the dry side and contacts are so uncomfortable for me), so I finally gave in to the glasses. Now I wear them all the time. I think I look better without them, but I guess that's part of getting older--giving up some of your vanity for comfort!
Oct 18, 2010
Autumn is here!
October has proved to be a pretty busy month around our house. J finally found a job and although it's only part-time right now (we're hoping it'll eventually turn in to full-time), it's helping to keep him busy. He's also been doing some computer work with his on-the-side business and has had things going on several weekends this month. He has an out-of-town job later this week, so he's leaving me from Thursday to Saturday, I think. As far as I know, this is the last thing he has scheduled for the time being. The weather has finally turned nice and I hope it stays this way for a while. It'd be nice to have some weekends to enjoy it together! At least I've had the doggies to keep me company while J's been so busy. Although, admittedly, the three of us actually just spend a good deal of the time he's gone sitting on the couch watching TV. BUT, it's not often that I have time to do that (or have total control of the remote without someone complaining about what I'm watching), so I have to take advantage of it!
I think I had vowed to start exercising regularly when I had my 31st birthday in August, but I didn't really get going on that until the end of September. A few weeks late is certainly better than never. I've been running! I started out walking and running, but now I can run for 30 minutes straight. I'm very proud of myself, as I don't believe I've ever done this before in my life. (If you are a real runner, please don't laugh. I guess 30 minutes is not that long. But I'm new to this.) I'm going to continue to try to do that each time I work out until it's comfortable and I feel like I can do more, then start adding time on. Our treadmill has a display on it that tells you how far you've gone, but the battery needs to be replaced. I tried to do it...but I can't get the battery out. So I'm waiting on J to do it. I'm very curious to know how far I've been going. I'm thinking about doing a half marathon at the end of April, but I really don't want to do it by myself. I'd love it if J would do it with me, but I'm still trying to talk him in to working out at all. So we'll see. It also costs around $100 to enter and I don't know if it's worth that. But I think that having a goal would be good motivation to keep working out and pushing myself to do better.
I'm still waiting on J to give me the final "yes" for the surgery. He has been so busy lately that he hasn't had much time to think about it. He's leaning toward "yes" and I think that will be the final verdict, but I wish he'd hurry up! I had it scheduled for December, but went ahead and moved it up to November. My pre-op appointment is November 1st--just two weeks away. It's probably not normal to be so excited to have surgery, but I'm beyond ready to know what's going on with my uncooperative reproductive system!
I'm hoping to buy a new camera soon and then I'll start posting some pictures on my blog. Our current camera is old. Old and sad. I actually think it came out of the garbage. Really. J used to work at this technology store/computer repair place and I think he found it in the garbage there. It works, but it really is time for it to go. I don't need anything too fancy right now (we'll get something nice when it's baby time), just something less bulky and that takes better pictures. Any suggestions? I don't want to spend more than $200.
I think I had vowed to start exercising regularly when I had my 31st birthday in August, but I didn't really get going on that until the end of September. A few weeks late is certainly better than never. I've been running! I started out walking and running, but now I can run for 30 minutes straight. I'm very proud of myself, as I don't believe I've ever done this before in my life. (If you are a real runner, please don't laugh. I guess 30 minutes is not that long. But I'm new to this.) I'm going to continue to try to do that each time I work out until it's comfortable and I feel like I can do more, then start adding time on. Our treadmill has a display on it that tells you how far you've gone, but the battery needs to be replaced. I tried to do it...but I can't get the battery out. So I'm waiting on J to do it. I'm very curious to know how far I've been going. I'm thinking about doing a half marathon at the end of April, but I really don't want to do it by myself. I'd love it if J would do it with me, but I'm still trying to talk him in to working out at all. So we'll see. It also costs around $100 to enter and I don't know if it's worth that. But I think that having a goal would be good motivation to keep working out and pushing myself to do better.
I'm still waiting on J to give me the final "yes" for the surgery. He has been so busy lately that he hasn't had much time to think about it. He's leaning toward "yes" and I think that will be the final verdict, but I wish he'd hurry up! I had it scheduled for December, but went ahead and moved it up to November. My pre-op appointment is November 1st--just two weeks away. It's probably not normal to be so excited to have surgery, but I'm beyond ready to know what's going on with my uncooperative reproductive system!
I'm hoping to buy a new camera soon and then I'll start posting some pictures on my blog. Our current camera is old. Old and sad. I actually think it came out of the garbage. Really. J used to work at this technology store/computer repair place and I think he found it in the garbage there. It works, but it really is time for it to go. I don't need anything too fancy right now (we'll get something nice when it's baby time), just something less bulky and that takes better pictures. Any suggestions? I don't want to spend more than $200.
Oct 9, 2010
Infertility.
I haven't deserted my blog, despite what my almost three month absence might lead one to believe. Today's subject is infertility. More specifically, my struggle with infertility.
We have been trying to start our family for nearly two years. As of right now, we aren't sure what the problem is. My husband has been tested and was fine. I had an HSG done and it showed that my tubes were blocked. This is not always a reliable test and we aren't positive that the tubes are actually blocked. However, my cycles are regular and I ovulate on my own. So there is something keeping us from getting pregnant.
Our next step is for me to have a diagnostic laparoscopy. I have the surgery scheduled for December, but I'm still waiting for my husband to give me the final go-ahead. He has some reservations about it. I'm hoping to get an answer from him within the next few days.
This has had a huge impact on my life. When you're young and thinking about the future, you never consider the fact that you might have trouble getting pregnant. You just assume things will happen the way they are supposed to. I was excited when we finally started trying, as I'd been wanting to for a while. As the months passed and nothing happened, I became concerned and decided it was time to see a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). But I kept hoping it would just happen naturally.
I took a pregnancy test this morning (which is something I don't bother doing very often). It was negative. No big surprise there. But this was perhaps the least disappointed I've ever been with that result. Not that it's not disappointing. But I have gotten to the point (finally) where my feelings are starting to change.
Over the past two years, I have become jaded and bitter. I get irritated any time I see a pregnant woman (it doesn't matter whether I not I know the person, although if I know them, I get more irritated). I have a good friend who is expecting a baby in a few weeks and I have certainly not been a great friend to her during her pregnancy. I have kept my distance and, when I have talked to her or been around her, tried not to talk too much about the baby. Any pregnant women is like a neon sign to me, blinking "YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT!". It's very frustrating. I know this is terrible. I'm aware that this is not the way a Christian should act. But my desire to become a mother is so strong that my emotions take over the logical part of my brain. Well, I guess I let them take over. There have been so many people around me who've had babies in the time since we started trying. I find it tough to ignore the feelings these constant reminders cause.
I've spent too much time feeling sorry for myself because I've been unable to get pregnant. Over the past few days, I have started to feel somewhat better about my situation. Part of it is because I'm hoping to get the laparoscopy done and find out what the problem is. Even if the problem can't be fixed, at least I'll know where we stand and we can make a plan for the future. (But I hope, of course, that the surgery will be able to fix what's wrong.) Part of it is because I believe that somehow, someday, I will be a mother. It may not be in my timing and it may not be the way I've expected, but it will happen. Unfortunately, patience is not my strong suit. I know I need to depend on God and wait on His plans, but this is difficult for me. I'm a planner and I like to be in control. I like to know what's going to happen. So it's tough for me to just pray and let it go. But I know that's what I need to do.
God knows what's best for me. I don't. That's all there is to it.
We have been trying to start our family for nearly two years. As of right now, we aren't sure what the problem is. My husband has been tested and was fine. I had an HSG done and it showed that my tubes were blocked. This is not always a reliable test and we aren't positive that the tubes are actually blocked. However, my cycles are regular and I ovulate on my own. So there is something keeping us from getting pregnant.
Our next step is for me to have a diagnostic laparoscopy. I have the surgery scheduled for December, but I'm still waiting for my husband to give me the final go-ahead. He has some reservations about it. I'm hoping to get an answer from him within the next few days.
This has had a huge impact on my life. When you're young and thinking about the future, you never consider the fact that you might have trouble getting pregnant. You just assume things will happen the way they are supposed to. I was excited when we finally started trying, as I'd been wanting to for a while. As the months passed and nothing happened, I became concerned and decided it was time to see a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). But I kept hoping it would just happen naturally.
I took a pregnancy test this morning (which is something I don't bother doing very often). It was negative. No big surprise there. But this was perhaps the least disappointed I've ever been with that result. Not that it's not disappointing. But I have gotten to the point (finally) where my feelings are starting to change.
Over the past two years, I have become jaded and bitter. I get irritated any time I see a pregnant woman (it doesn't matter whether I not I know the person, although if I know them, I get more irritated). I have a good friend who is expecting a baby in a few weeks and I have certainly not been a great friend to her during her pregnancy. I have kept my distance and, when I have talked to her or been around her, tried not to talk too much about the baby. Any pregnant women is like a neon sign to me, blinking "YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT!". It's very frustrating. I know this is terrible. I'm aware that this is not the way a Christian should act. But my desire to become a mother is so strong that my emotions take over the logical part of my brain. Well, I guess I let them take over. There have been so many people around me who've had babies in the time since we started trying. I find it tough to ignore the feelings these constant reminders cause.
I've spent too much time feeling sorry for myself because I've been unable to get pregnant. Over the past few days, I have started to feel somewhat better about my situation. Part of it is because I'm hoping to get the laparoscopy done and find out what the problem is. Even if the problem can't be fixed, at least I'll know where we stand and we can make a plan for the future. (But I hope, of course, that the surgery will be able to fix what's wrong.) Part of it is because I believe that somehow, someday, I will be a mother. It may not be in my timing and it may not be the way I've expected, but it will happen. Unfortunately, patience is not my strong suit. I know I need to depend on God and wait on His plans, but this is difficult for me. I'm a planner and I like to be in control. I like to know what's going to happen. So it's tough for me to just pray and let it go. But I know that's what I need to do.
God knows what's best for me. I don't. That's all there is to it.
Jul 20, 2010
Law school.
hsner
I'll be starting law school in a little over a year. I'm sure the next year will go by quickly, as they all seem to. I imagine that this time next year, I'll be trying to get things in order, making sure I have all the supplies I need, getting ready to quit my job, hoping we can make it all work. I'm nervous about going back to school. I've said in the past that it was something I wouldn't do. But I need something more financially and personally rewarding than what I'm doing now. I don't see myself being a secretary forever. I can see myself being an attorney, but getting there is most certainly going to take me out of my comfort zone. I'm one of those people who is going to law school because I think I'd be good at it and because I don't know what else to do. Perhaps that's not the best reason to go into a rather large amount of debt (although I hope to get some scholarship money), but there it is.
Another reason for this foray into a career I did not previously care anything about is that I'm hoping to work for myself. Maybe not at first, but eventually. I'd like to have my own practice so that I can be in control of things. I have no desire to work for someone else, being told what to do and when to do it. I want to be able to make the decision about whether to take on a case. I want to be able to take a break or a vacation when I feel like it. I realize you have to take the clients needs into consideration, but I think that's better for me than having to cater to the needs and wants of other attorneys.
Right now I'm most interested in real estate law. And possibly health law. Those are certainly subject to change once I start learning more about them and about the other types of law. I know I am absolutely not interested in family law (too sad and stressful) or tax law (too complicated).
I am concerned about how much studying I'll have to do in order to do well. Or just to keep up, for that matter. It has been a long time since I've really had to study for anything (other than the LSAT) and I fear that my ability to concentrate on something for long periods of time has diminished ever so slightly. Maybe a lot. Especially when it comes to something boring. Yes, I think law is basically boring. I told you I was only doing this because I don't know what else to do. I just hope I can stay awake in class.
I hope that four years from now, I'm glad I did it. I hope I pass the bar. I hope I can find a job that I enjoy. I also hope I can look back and say that I stayed awake throughout every single class. THAT is a true accomplishment and something to be proud of.
Jul 8, 2010
Busy and boring.
Not that anyone has particularly noticed, but I haven't blogged in a few days. Life has a way of being busy, even when it's not all that interesting (at least to people other than yourself) and that's where I'm at.
I keep thinking about working out and then I keep not doing it. That has really got to stop! I worked out a whopping total of five times in June. Maybe I can do better this month, but here we are on July 8th and I haven't done it even once. I was thinking, though, about making a "Birthday Resolution". I have, in the past, made New Year's Resolutions, which have more or less not resulted in any major or lasting changes in my life. But here I am, about to turn 31 years old next month. I've always been on the thin side, but as I get older, I see a change. My weight hasn't really changed, but things just seem to be in different places. I'm not sure how that works, because I may look bigger in one place, but no other places are smaller. Anyway, I've decided to use my 31st birthday as a starting point for really and truly trying to do better about exercising and eating better. (REALLY. I mean it.) I especially need to cut down on the sugar. I am a major sugar addict. I need it. As I type this, I'm drinking a nice, sugary glass of grape Kool-Aid. It's delicious. So I need to work on cutting down on the sweet stuff. That's probably the biggest problem I have when it comes to my diet. That and carbs. I love carbs, too. I don't see how people can go without them.
But I digress.
I really want to make a positive change in the health area of my life. It starts August 17th. I'm not going to go all crazy and pig out until then or anything. But that's the official start date. Seriously.
I keep thinking about working out and then I keep not doing it. That has really got to stop! I worked out a whopping total of five times in June. Maybe I can do better this month, but here we are on July 8th and I haven't done it even once. I was thinking, though, about making a "Birthday Resolution". I have, in the past, made New Year's Resolutions, which have more or less not resulted in any major or lasting changes in my life. But here I am, about to turn 31 years old next month. I've always been on the thin side, but as I get older, I see a change. My weight hasn't really changed, but things just seem to be in different places. I'm not sure how that works, because I may look bigger in one place, but no other places are smaller. Anyway, I've decided to use my 31st birthday as a starting point for really and truly trying to do better about exercising and eating better. (REALLY. I mean it.) I especially need to cut down on the sugar. I am a major sugar addict. I need it. As I type this, I'm drinking a nice, sugary glass of grape Kool-Aid. It's delicious. So I need to work on cutting down on the sweet stuff. That's probably the biggest problem I have when it comes to my diet. That and carbs. I love carbs, too. I don't see how people can go without them.
But I digress.
I really want to make a positive change in the health area of my life. It starts August 17th. I'm not going to go all crazy and pig out until then or anything. But that's the official start date. Seriously.
Jun 16, 2010
Working out is not working out.
Despite my good intentions, I've not exercised much this month. I think maybe four times so far. I know I'd do better if I got up before work to do it, but this would require me to get up around 5 a.m. and I just haven't found it in myself to do this yet. (Partly because I tend to go to bed late and I'd rather sleep another hour than get up to exercise.) In the evenings, I'm too tired and have too many other things I need (and want) to do (if we're even home). I know the answer is to start going to bed earlier and work out in the mornings. I just need to do it!!!
J has a meeting tonight, so I'm going to try to work out while he's gone. We'll see how much motivation I have once I get home.
In other news, my parents stayed with us last night. My mom had a job interview at a hospital in the city where we live (she's a nurse). They live 4 to 5 hours away right now, so it'd be nice to have them closer!
J has a meeting tonight, so I'm going to try to work out while he's gone. We'll see how much motivation I have once I get home.
In other news, my parents stayed with us last night. My mom had a job interview at a hospital in the city where we live (she's a nurse). They live 4 to 5 hours away right now, so it'd be nice to have them closer!
Jun 8, 2010
My cooking skills. Or the lack thereof.
I wish I was a good cook. I wish I was the kind of cook whose dishes are praised at potlucks and sought after at family gatherings. Alas, this is not the case. If I were ever to be famous for any kind of cooking, it would be for being really handy at opening cans and reading directions on boxes. That's what I'm best at. When it comes to cooking from recipes, my skills are a bit lacking.
This is not to say I don't try. I love cookbooks and own quite a few. I enjoy looking through them and dreaming about the day I'll have the time, ingredients and skill to cook this or bake that. I recently decided I would try to make a new recipe that I got out of this cookbook:
I decided to make the "Mini Cheeseburger Puff Pies". It sounded simple enough. It was just miniature cheeseburgers wrapped in puff pastry. It was the puff pastry that threw me off. I had never made anything that required it. Therefore, I made a mistake. I bought Phyllo dough instead of puff pastry. In my defense, it did say "Easy-to-Use Pastry Sheets" on the box. It was all I could find in the frozen food section, which is where I assumed it would be. Anyway, this mistake pretty much ruined the whole recipe. We could still eat the cheeseburger part (and J even ate cheeseburger with some of the Phyllo dough...ew), but it wasn't good. But now I know and I'd like to try it again, after I locate the puff pastry at Kroger. If you know where I might find it, feel free to share your wisdom.
Occasionally, I do make something that tastes good and even resembles what the end product is supposed to look like. For example, from the cookbook above, I have also made "Brooke's Homemade Meatloaf". I've made it twice and it's quite tasty, although in the future, I'll leave off the glaze it calls for. It's not as good as my mom's meatloaf, but I don't have that recipe. I should probably get it.
I also recently made "Banana Pudding" from this cookbook:
I'm all about the Deen's. Anyway, it turned out pretty well, too. So I'm not always a terrible cook. And at least I aspire to be great at it one day. For now, my husband kind of groans when he finds out I'm trying out something new for dinner.
This is not to say I don't try. I love cookbooks and own quite a few. I enjoy looking through them and dreaming about the day I'll have the time, ingredients and skill to cook this or bake that. I recently decided I would try to make a new recipe that I got out of this cookbook:
I decided to make the "Mini Cheeseburger Puff Pies". It sounded simple enough. It was just miniature cheeseburgers wrapped in puff pastry. It was the puff pastry that threw me off. I had never made anything that required it. Therefore, I made a mistake. I bought Phyllo dough instead of puff pastry. In my defense, it did say "Easy-to-Use Pastry Sheets" on the box. It was all I could find in the frozen food section, which is where I assumed it would be. Anyway, this mistake pretty much ruined the whole recipe. We could still eat the cheeseburger part (and J even ate cheeseburger with some of the Phyllo dough...ew), but it wasn't good. But now I know and I'd like to try it again, after I locate the puff pastry at Kroger. If you know where I might find it, feel free to share your wisdom.
Occasionally, I do make something that tastes good and even resembles what the end product is supposed to look like. For example, from the cookbook above, I have also made "Brooke's Homemade Meatloaf". I've made it twice and it's quite tasty, although in the future, I'll leave off the glaze it calls for. It's not as good as my mom's meatloaf, but I don't have that recipe. I should probably get it.
I also recently made "Banana Pudding" from this cookbook:
I'm all about the Deen's. Anyway, it turned out pretty well, too. So I'm not always a terrible cook. And at least I aspire to be great at it one day. For now, my husband kind of groans when he finds out I'm trying out something new for dinner.
Jun 3, 2010
Where have all the good shows gone?
J and I haven't had cable or satellite TV for over two years. We think this is a wonderful thing. As it turns out, there is hardly anything worth watching! We do have Netflix and a Tivo, though, so we records a few shows to watch later and take adavantage of the "Watch Instantly" feature on Netflix. As I get older, I add a new show here or there to my favorites, but some shows have been on the list for a long time. Here are my all-time favorites:
1. The Office. I've seen every episode and there are some I've seen multiple times. ("The Dundies" comes
to mind.) My favorite thing about the show has always been the relationship between Jim and Pam.
Although I don't find it as enjoyable as I used to, it's been fun to see them go from being office-mates
with unspoken crushes on each other to a married couple with a baby. I'm glad the writers allowed the
relationship to develop in a realistic way, even though they're not quite as cute as they used to be. Other
than Jim and Pam, I like the awkward humor of the show. Because that's how humorous situations
often are in real life. Just awkward. This show can totally make you feel embarrassed and have to turn
away from the TV. It's good that way.
2. LOST. We didn't start watching this until last year. I knew enough about the show to know it was
something you needed to watch from the beginning or you would be, well, lost. So when I saw we could
"Watch Instantly" on Netflix, I added Seasons 1-5 to the queue. I got totally addicted. So did J. We still
aren't caught up; we're close to finishing Season 5. It's kind of bittersweet. On one hand, I want
to know what happens. On the other, once it's over, it's over. No new episodes. Hurley, with his big
hair (not completely unlike my sometimes unruly curls) and Sawyer, with his amusing way of saying
things and nicknames for everyone, are my favorites. I feel kind of sorry for the people who already
watched the finale. At least we still have that to look forward to.
3. The Cosby Show. I will never get tired of this show. I love the humor and the family dynamic. I love
Bill Cosby's hilarious ways of saying things, in particular when he is speaking to or about his children or
grandchildren. I have thought to myself that they are the kind of parent I want to be. Firm, but fun-loving
and funny. With definite rules and regulations for the kids, but also an understanding of the way kids are.
A knowledge that they are going to mess up and you just have to deal with it the best you know how.
There was never a lot of drama, but a rather honest potrayal of how a real family often works. There are
too many shows on today that make it look like all families are broken and crazy and dysfunctional and
that's simply not true.
4. The Andy Griffith Show. I will never get tired of this, either. My dad has always been a fan of this show,
so I watched it when I was younger and I still like it now. I love the hilarity that is Barney Fife. I love the
town of Mayberry, with its cast of odd characters. I wish I could live in a town like that, where everyone
knows you, where there's such a lack of bad stuff happening that most of the sheriff's time seems to be
taken up eating the lunch that Aunt Bee brought by or driving around the countryside to try to catch some
moonshiners, who aren't even dangerous, just doing something they shouldn't be. I wish my kids could
grow up in a place where I would feel comfortable letting them run around and play, without constantly
having to be under my watchful eye, where they could explore the woods and ride their bikes without
having to be careful who they talk to or where they go. It's kind of how my dad grew up. Maybe that's
why he likes the show so much.
5. The Gilmore Girls. Although I didn't really like the way this show ended, this is still a great series. The
camaraderie between Lorelai and Rory is so amusing. If I have a daughter, I hope we can have that kind
of easy relationship. The show takes place a town similar to Mayberry, in that everyone knows everyone
else and nothing truly bad seems to happen there. It's a cute town with cute little festivals and plenty of
town characters to keep you amused.
6. Hey Dude. I doubt this show is on too many people's "favorite show" lists, but it's on mine. If you don't
even know what it is, I understand. It came on Nickelodeon in the late 80s and early 90s. It's about a
dude ranch and, because of this show, I have an abiding dream to visit a dude ranch and maybe even do
a little work while I'm there. I want to ride horses and sit out in the desert night, eating BBQ with real
cowboys who sing and play the guitar. It sounds like so much fun!
I think it's sad that there are so few decent shows on TV anymore. I know there has always been bad stuff on, but it is definitely getting worse and people are so immune to it. (And by decent, I don't mean a show with a good story and good characters. I mean decent to watch. Clean. Suitable to be watched by Christian eyes.) Also, kid's TV seems so dumbed down. I'm not saying that what I watched as a kid was so intelligent and was never silly. But there's a big difference even between "Hey Dude" and "iCarly". Or between "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" and "Hannah Montana". I miss all those old shows!
1. The Office. I've seen every episode and there are some I've seen multiple times. ("The Dundies" comes
to mind.) My favorite thing about the show has always been the relationship between Jim and Pam.
Although I don't find it as enjoyable as I used to, it's been fun to see them go from being office-mates
with unspoken crushes on each other to a married couple with a baby. I'm glad the writers allowed the
relationship to develop in a realistic way, even though they're not quite as cute as they used to be. Other
than Jim and Pam, I like the awkward humor of the show. Because that's how humorous situations
often are in real life. Just awkward. This show can totally make you feel embarrassed and have to turn
away from the TV. It's good that way.
2. LOST. We didn't start watching this until last year. I knew enough about the show to know it was
something you needed to watch from the beginning or you would be, well, lost. So when I saw we could
"Watch Instantly" on Netflix, I added Seasons 1-5 to the queue. I got totally addicted. So did J. We still
aren't caught up; we're close to finishing Season 5. It's kind of bittersweet. On one hand, I want
to know what happens. On the other, once it's over, it's over. No new episodes. Hurley, with his big
hair (not completely unlike my sometimes unruly curls) and Sawyer, with his amusing way of saying
things and nicknames for everyone, are my favorites. I feel kind of sorry for the people who already
watched the finale. At least we still have that to look forward to.
3. The Cosby Show. I will never get tired of this show. I love the humor and the family dynamic. I love
Bill Cosby's hilarious ways of saying things, in particular when he is speaking to or about his children or
grandchildren. I have thought to myself that they are the kind of parent I want to be. Firm, but fun-loving
and funny. With definite rules and regulations for the kids, but also an understanding of the way kids are.
A knowledge that they are going to mess up and you just have to deal with it the best you know how.
There was never a lot of drama, but a rather honest potrayal of how a real family often works. There are
too many shows on today that make it look like all families are broken and crazy and dysfunctional and
that's simply not true.
4. The Andy Griffith Show. I will never get tired of this, either. My dad has always been a fan of this show,
so I watched it when I was younger and I still like it now. I love the hilarity that is Barney Fife. I love the
town of Mayberry, with its cast of odd characters. I wish I could live in a town like that, where everyone
knows you, where there's such a lack of bad stuff happening that most of the sheriff's time seems to be
taken up eating the lunch that Aunt Bee brought by or driving around the countryside to try to catch some
moonshiners, who aren't even dangerous, just doing something they shouldn't be. I wish my kids could
grow up in a place where I would feel comfortable letting them run around and play, without constantly
having to be under my watchful eye, where they could explore the woods and ride their bikes without
having to be careful who they talk to or where they go. It's kind of how my dad grew up. Maybe that's
why he likes the show so much.
5. The Gilmore Girls. Although I didn't really like the way this show ended, this is still a great series. The
camaraderie between Lorelai and Rory is so amusing. If I have a daughter, I hope we can have that kind
of easy relationship. The show takes place a town similar to Mayberry, in that everyone knows everyone
else and nothing truly bad seems to happen there. It's a cute town with cute little festivals and plenty of
town characters to keep you amused.
6. Hey Dude. I doubt this show is on too many people's "favorite show" lists, but it's on mine. If you don't
even know what it is, I understand. It came on Nickelodeon in the late 80s and early 90s. It's about a
dude ranch and, because of this show, I have an abiding dream to visit a dude ranch and maybe even do
a little work while I'm there. I want to ride horses and sit out in the desert night, eating BBQ with real
cowboys who sing and play the guitar. It sounds like so much fun!
I think it's sad that there are so few decent shows on TV anymore. I know there has always been bad stuff on, but it is definitely getting worse and people are so immune to it. (And by decent, I don't mean a show with a good story and good characters. I mean decent to watch. Clean. Suitable to be watched by Christian eyes.) Also, kid's TV seems so dumbed down. I'm not saying that what I watched as a kid was so intelligent and was never silly. But there's a big difference even between "Hey Dude" and "iCarly". Or between "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" and "Hannah Montana". I miss all those old shows!
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