24 Weeks Old!

I really didn't mean to neglect my blog for so many months, but life has been busy and I just haven't made this a priority. But I'm back! With a 5 1/2 month old son!

K was born on April 2nd. He was due on March 20th, but clearly had no plans to come out without being evicted. I went in on April 1st to be induced. I had planned to go without pain medication and was able to do so. Things were going along well (I thought) and I was sitting on a birthing ball working through contractions when a nurse told me that the baby didn't like that position and that I needed to get on the bed. I don't even think I had climbed all the way in the bed before a bunch of people rushed in and, before long, I was being wheeled to the OR for an emergency C-section. The baby's heartbeat had dropped, so they decided it was best to get him out sooner rather than later. Since I hadn't had any pain medication, I had to be put under with general anesthesia. My husband wasn't allowed in the OR due to the general anesthesia (I'm not sure why), so neither of us got to see the baby immediately after he was born or got to be the first ones to hold him. I'm still sad about that. I hate that I missed that magical first hour of his life because I was unconscious. It just didn't go at all the way I'd planned and hoped. But, he was healthy and, in the end, that's the most important thing.

Being a mother is amazing, as I knew it would be. I absolutely love it. The first few weeks were a bit rough, but crazy hormones and lack of sleep takes its toll. By three months or so, things were better and I felt more normal again. Now he's almost six months old and he's so much fun! I love seeing him learning new things and growing and changing. Every day is an adventure! At the same time, whenever he learns something new or grows out of an outfit that I love, it makes me sad. It's bittersweet...of course you want your child to be healthy and grow and become an independent person eventually...but there's nothing like the sweet baby you have for a few short months. It goes by way too fast. I think the fact that it took so long to become a parent and was something I wasn't sure was ever going to happen (at least not without adoption) makes me appreciate it even more. I just want to soak it all in.

I'll be back, hopefully sooner than a few months from now, to go into more detail about the past few months. I'll wrap it up with some pictures of my sweet boy.

37 Weeks

Baby boy is full term today! It's very exciting to be at this point. I'm also starting to stress a little because I don't know WHEN it's going to happen. I don't know WHEN he's going to arrive. It could be anytime in the next five weeks. We are still pretty far from having the house and nursery ready for his arrival, so I hope it's not too soon. But there's just no way to know how much time we have. I feel like I've been fairly calm up until this point, but now that we've hit the 37 week mark, I feel some anxiety about not knowing. Don't get me wrong--I don't WANT to know. I could never be one of those women who pick their baby's due date (unless I had to for a medical reason). But that doesn't make it less stressful!

Everything is going well. I haven't had any signs that I'm making any progress towards labor yet. The midwives I'm seeing generally don't check to see if you're progressing unless there's a reason to, so it's just a waiting game for now.

We're hoping to get the house to the point where we can get the nursery put together this weekend. I'll feel better when that's done. (Even though the baby is probably not going to be sleeping in there for a while.) We have so much stuff of his that needs to be put away and right now we have nowhere to put it. His nursery is currently the guest room, but we've been sleeping in there for months because the mattress in there is more comfortable (although it's smaller) than the one in the master bedroom. So right now the master bedroom is Baby Stuff Central. And some of the bigger stuff (including the crib) is still at my in-law's house. When we get the guest room cleaned out and move the baby stuff in there, we'll be back in the master bedroom. But we're getting a new mattress for that room, which we're pretty excited about. So much to do!

31 Weeks 1 Day

The third trimester has arrived! I'm so glad we only have a few weeks left until we get to meet our little boy! Time seems to be going by pretty quickly, which is good and bad. It's good because we're excited to add this new little person to our family. It's bad because we still have SO many things to do before he's born.

The main thing is getting the house ready. My husband collects electronics and other things that collect dust. He has an incredible amount of junk. He's also not a very organized kind of person. He's not good about throwing things away. All of this adds up to a whole bunch of stuff that needs to be gone through and organized before the baby makes his debut. My husband is also a procrastinator. I'm pretty much the opposite of him in all these ways, but it's his stuff, so he really has to be the one to take care of it. I really wonder if everything will be ready by the time the baby is born, but I don't have much control over the situation.

Pregnancy has begun to be uncomfortable by this point. Overall, I think my second trimester was fairly easy. I wasn't having morning sickness. I finally looked pregnant to people who didn't already know I was. My maternity clothes fit. Now, in the glorious third trimester, my belly aches from the weight, I am outgrowing some of my maternity clothes and I'm not sure if they'll last until the end, I feel like I've started to waddle a little bit, I'm having annoying Braxton-Hicks contractions, I sometimes get short of breath, sometimes it's hard to find a comfortable position to sit or recline in and I start feeling bad and have to sit down if I'm on my feet for too long. Even doing things around the house (laundry and vacumming, for example) make me feel bad. I've started dreading going shopping because it's hard for me to be on my feet for that long. I have to scope out a place to sit when I go in somewhere so I know where to go if I need to.

I'm not complaining, though. I'm simply stating the facts. I couldn't be happier to be having this baby and I'll deal with whatever I have to! But I'll still be glad not to be pregnant anymore! There are things about it I'll miss, though. I love feeling the baby move around and I'll defintely miss that. When you don't feel bad, I think it's just enjoyable in general to be pregnant and to look pregnant. I waited so long for it that I can't help but appreciate the blessing that pregnancy is. When I wasn't pregnant, when I wondered if I ever would be, one of the things that made me sad was the thought of not experiencing pregnancy. It wasn't just about having a baby, although, of course, that's the most important part. I really wanted to have the experience of carrying a child too. Even when I feel the worst, I'm so thankful I'm getting to experience it now.

We started out childbirth class on January 3rd. It meets from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. every Tuesday for six weeks. So far we've been to three classes. I considered not doing a class at all due to the cost, but, in the end, I figured this would be the best thing, particularly for J. He will be my support person and partner during labor and I thought that attending a class would be beneficial for him. I bought a book for us to read on the partner's role during childbirth, but he hasn't started it yet, even though we've had it for a little while. And that's why I figured we better go ahead with the class--in case he never got around to reading the book, I wanted him to have some idea of what he needs to do and what to expect. So far, I think it's been a good thing for us and hopefully he's learned some things that he can use during labor.

In law school news, I've now been accepted to three of the five law schools I applied to. I haven't heard from the other two yet. One of them I fully expect to be accepted to and the other one...I really just don't know. I think it could go either way or I could possibly be put on the waitlist. It's been over two months since my application was complete at that school, so I really wish they'd just let me know! Two of the schools I was accepted to are in Alabama and the other is in South Carolina. I'm really not that keen on living in Alabama. South Carolina is appealing (it's where we go for vacation), but it's just so far away from our families and everything we know. If there wasn't a baby involved, it would be easier to make that transition. But I hate to take him so far away from his grandparents and other people who love him and would like to watch him grow up, instead of having to look at pictures or videos most of the time.

The school I expect to get into that I haven't heard from yet is local to where we now live. I don't relish the idea of staying where we are for at least another four years (it's a part-time program, so it's four years instead of the typical three for law school). However, it's appealing because it's easy. We can stay in the house we're in now (although I'd like to be able to afford to move out sooner rather than later). I could, theoretically, stay home with the baby during the day, then go to my classes at night. J would be home with him when I'm in class, of course, so that means we wouldn't have to hire a baby-sitter. (I say that I could "theoretically stay home" because that would depend on J's job situation. As of right now, he still has not found a job. Obviously, one of us has to be working, but it would be really difficult for me to have a young child, go to law school and work, all at the same time.) This is the school that is not ABA-approved, though, so that means I'm limited on where I can work (and, therefore, live) once I'm done with school. That's the main downside. But I'm having a hard time with the idea of going to a full-time school, being gone for several hours a day for class, then having to spend several hours at night studying...all while trying to be a good wife and mom. If I go to the part-time, non-ABA school, I get to spend more time with the baby and would only have class two nights a week instead of five days a week.

We have so many decisions to make right now and it's so difficult to know what the best thing is to do!

24 Weeks 1 Day

This pregnancy is going by quickly. Only about 16 more weeks until we meet our baby BOY!!! We found out on October 25th, at 19 weeks, that we are expecting a little man! I was quite excited to find out he's a boy. I would've been fine with a girl, of course (and in my mind, I kept thinking he was a girl, as did almost everyone else who told me their guess for the gender), but I just think little boys are so sweet! And I guess I can see myself more, at least at this point in time, as the mommy of a boy than the mommy of a girl. Of course, I'd love to have a girl one day too!

Everything looked good on the anatomy scan. He is growing on track. The ultrasound tech asked us if we wanted to know the gender and, of course, I told her we did. And as she was trying to get a good look, I think my brain kind of halfway froze for a few moments. I was watching the screen, but I didn't want to assume that I knew what I was looking at until she told us. When she told us he's a boy, I was kind of surprised! But super excited! It was fun to see him moving around and kicking on the ultrasound. She printed out one picture for us, a good profile shot, but also gave us a DVD of the ultrasound and a CD of still pictures. It's very cool to have those first good glimpses at our son. We also showed the DVD to J's mom and to my parents and they all enjoyed it.

I thought about doing a 3D/4D ultrasound, but decided not to. I know they say ultrasound is safe when used appropriately, but I feel uncomfortable having one just for our entertainment. It does affect the baby when one is done and, for me, having an unnecessary ultrasound just so we can get some good looks at him seems selfish. I'm also not sure I really want to see what he looks like before he's born. I feel like that would take away some of the fun and surprise at his birth.

The bump is growing!

This was taken around 19 weeks.

17 Weeks and 3 Days

Time is flying by! March will be here before we know it. I can't wait!

Everything still seems to be going well. I had my second appointment with a nurse-midwife at 16 weeks, but they didn't do anything other than listen to the baby's heartbeat, ask me some questions and ask if I had any questions. She said the heartbeat sounded good. I asked her to show me where the top of my uterus is because I can't really feel it. I think where she pointed to was just below my belly button, which she said is big for where we are in the pregnancy. She said maybe my dates were off (I'm fairly certain they're not) or maybe this was just a big baby. However, from the research I've done, this type of measurement (called the fundal height) is not an accurate way to assess the size of the baby. We should know more about the size after our next ultrasound.

Our anatomy/gender ultrasound is scheduled for October 25th and I am so very excited! Not only will we find out the gender (if the baby cooperates!), but we get to see the baby again! Our last ultrasound was at 8 weeks, so the baby still looked like a blob with tiny arms and legs. It'll be awesome to see it looking like a baby! I'm excited for J to see it too. I know the experience for me is completely different from what he's going through, so I'm glad he has an opportunity to actually see this little person who is making me become a bigger person!

I think I felt the baby moving for the first time this week, on the day I turned 17 weeks! I had felt some flutters before that which might have been the baby, but it's impossible to know for sure. But this was a feeling I had never felt before, so I feel fairly certain it was my little one. I was driving my car to work and I felt this feeling that felt sort of like popcorn popping or like being punched or kicked by something small. It was so cool! I haven't felt it since then, but I know it's still early. Hopefully within the next few days, I'll start feeling more consistent movement.

It's nice that this pregnancy has finally gotten to be more fun, rather than being a big worry-fest. Not that I don't worry anymore, but I defintely don't worry as much as I used to. Hopefully we will get the all-clear at the anatomy ultrasound and we can just cruise through the next few months with no problems!

As soon as we know the gender, I'm going to be on the hunt for the perfect name. I have ideas, but J doesn't always like what I do. And I'm so picky. Even picking out names for my dogs is a big deal to me! So picking out a name for a person...that's a major thing.

I am definitely looking more pregnant now. People are starting to notice without being told first. I'm glad I finally look pregnant and not just like I've indulged in too much junk food! I've gained around seven pounds so far. Pretty soon I'll be looking at numbers on the scale that I've never seen before. That's a little stressful, but I know it's necessary and for the best cause. I just know I'll have some work to do after the baby is born so I can lose the extra weight...otherwise, I won't have many clothes to wear!

13 Weeks and 5 Days

Here's a baby bump picture that was taken two days ago:

The pregnancy is still going well. We made it to the second trimester! I still listen to the baby's heartbeat every day. I haven't gained much weight yet...maybe a pound or two. Our next appointment with the nurse-midwife is at sixteen weeks. She said we could do our "20 week" ultrasound at 19 weeks, so we have just a little over five weeks before we find out if we're having a boy or girl! (If the baby cooperates, that is.)

We've bought a few baby items. We have two car seats (one for each car), a stroller (a big one that goes with one of the car seats...we still need to get a lightweight stroller), a portable swing, a Pack 'N Play, a high chair and a diaper bag. We also have quite a few items of clothing and some toys, blankets and bibs. I ordered some cloth diapers online, but they're in layaway right now. Then I found a diaper that's the brand I ordered in a discount store, so I got it. It's adorable! I guess we'll keep disposables around for traveling and times when it's easier not to have to deal with the cloth, but I want to use the cloth primarily.

J and I are going on a trip to Gatlinburg, Tennessee for our eighth wedding anniversary, which is September 20th. We'll be gone this Friday through next Tuesday and we're looking forward to just having some time to relax. His parents have a chalet in the mountains and that's where we're going to be staying. Life is so busy when we're home and we don't have a lot of time when it's just the two of us and we're not in the middle of doing something else. So I'm excited to spend some time just hanging out with my husband! 

Pictures

Me with my parents and husband.

With Riders in the Sky.

At the U.S. Space & Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama.

In Charleston, South Carolina.

10 Weeks and 2 Days

We had our first appointment with the nurse-midwife group on August 23rd at 10 weeks. It went really well and I think I'm really going to be happy working with them. We saw Lauren, who will be my "primary" midwife, by virtue of the fact that she was the first person I saw. She was really nice and had an easy way about her. I'll see her at my next appointment, but then they encourage you to see other midwives also, so you have a better chance of having some familiarity with whoever happens to be on call when it's time for you to deliver.

We mostly just talked at this appointment. She gave me a book that they give all their clients called "Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth". I haven't started it yet, but plan to this weekend. We discussed the Prometrium I've been taking. I told her my RE wanted me to start weaning off of it this week, but that I'd like to take it a little longer if it was okay. She said it was okay to take it up until 12 weeks, but I should stop it at that point. So just a few more days of that!

We got to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time! It took her a moment to find it. When she did, she got this big smile on her face and said, "Awesome! It's in the 160s. It's perfect." She told me before she looked for it that since I was only 10 weeks, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to find it and she wouldn't be worried if she couldn't. (Of course, I would've been worried.) After she found it, she thanked me for being skinny! I guess if I wasn't, she might not have been able to find it this soon.

I purchased a fetal doppler to use at home and we tried it out for the first time after our appointment. It arrived the day before, but I figured it would be better to wait until after the midwife had found it to try it out...that way if we weren't able to locate the heartbeat, we wouldn't worry because we would know it was there. J was able to find it, but just for a moment, then I guess the baby moved. I have been able to find it every time I've tried since then. It's just so reassuring to hear it. Since our next appointment isn't until October 4th, the doppler is going to be my best friend. I might lose my mind having to wait that long to know things were okay, so I'm very thankful I have the doppler to give me peace of mind. Plus, it's just cool to hear the heartbeat!

9 Weeks

Today I'm 9 weeks pregnant! I'm thankful to have made it this far and I'm worrying less than I was at first. Every day still feels like a little victory, though, and I'm sure I'll never stop worrying completely. Our last doctor's appointment was on August 11th. We saw my RE again and had another ultrasound. This was at 8w2d and it was cool to see the difference in the baby from 6w2d. It actually looks kind of like a person now! And this time we got to see the heartbeat (which was 158). J said he teared up during the ultrasound. I'm glad he's been with me at every appointment so far. He is excited about being a dad!

Everything looked good. The RE said the fluid in my uterus is significantly less than it was at the last ultrasound. He is not convinced that it's actually a subchorionic bleed. He said that's what the Maternal Fetal Medicine people said (I guess that's who read the ultrasound), but he's not sure that's what it is. He's not sure what it is, but, at any rate, it seems to be going away and hopefully it'll be gone by the next ultrasound.

The RE released me from his care, so I will be getting my care from a group of nurse-midwives from now on. Our first appointment is August 23rd and I'm looking forward to that. This will be our first "real" OB appointment, since up until now we've just been checking the progress of the pregnancy and following up on the fluid issue. I'm excited to be using the nurse-midwives rather than a physician. I feel like they'll be a better fit with my philosophy on childbirth and my desire to have it be as natural as possible. Right now, I'm planning on an unmedicated birth. I'm not very tolerant of pain, really, but I know that's better for the baby and for me.

As for how I'm feeling, I'm doing pretty well. The nausea got worse for a few days and now it's better again. I've been having a lot of headaches, but I'm not sure if that's related to being pregnant or not. I have them regularly anyway, but I know pregnancy can make it worse. It's a struggle not to take anything for them. I know I can take acetaminophen, but I'm trying not to take it as much as I would if I wasn't pregnant. I had a horrible migraine a few days ago. I get them every once in a while, but this one was just wearing me out. The pain behind my eye was so awful. I actually started crying because it hurt so bad, which I don't think I've ever done because of a migraine. But it finally stopped. I live in fear of having another one, though!

I haven't really gained weight so far. I was 105 the first time I weighed after I found out I was pregnant and I was 107 this morning. But it has been fluctuating. Its a little scary that in a few weeks I'll be seeing numbers on the scale that I've never seen before. At least it's for a great cause!